澳大利亚慈父，墨尔本房贷专家谈育儿
Melbourne Mortgage Specialist’ Parenting Story
Giving Up Business To Exchange More Time For Kids
澳洲育儿故事主人公简介：Doug Vohs
Doug Vohs, Mortage Corp Client Manager 客户经理
Doug 墨尔本5星级投资房贷专家 Mortgage Corp 的客户经理。Doug 以总是能为购房者省事省力省钱，实现自己的梦想，同时帮助房地产投资者把财富长期最大化而自豪。“无论是他们投资的第一家还是第六家房产， 有时他们可能认为自己只能负担得起四套房子，经过我们的帮助，他们现在拥有了6套房子。”
在加入Mortgage Corp以前，Doug 决定为了能多陪陪两个孩子而放弃了自己经营了差不多10年的抵押贷款经纪行。
Doug is Mortgage Corp’s client manager. And Mortgage Corp is the Melbourne Property Investment Specialists with consistent 5 star customer reviews. Doug is always proud of him being able to save time, effort and money for property buyers and help investors achieve their dreams and maximise their long term investment returns. “Whether it is the first home or 6th investment property. Perhaps they thought they’d only be able to afford 4.”
Prior to joining Mortgage Corp, Doug has had his own mortgage firm for around 10 years but he’s decided to call it a quit and prioritise his time with his two children over his business.
采访人：Annie Deng – 安妮·邓
Annie Deng安妮·邓，澳洲顶级营销战略家, 高级翻译, 澳洲通, 中澳混血妈妈，移民澳大利亚十多年，现任澳洲投资房贷 Mortgage Corp市场总监。Annie采访来自各行各业的澳大利亚西人父母，从普普通通的清洁工，老师，工程师到赫赫有名的公司老总及澳洲政府官员, 通过精彩动人，富有感染力的澳洲育儿故事为中国和世界介绍展示澳洲淳朴的风土人情，丰富多彩的生活及澳洲经商之道。让广大华人客观全面了解澳大利亚教育，礼仪，生活，风光，商务及生意经。
Join Annie Deng, a top marketing strategist and storyteller as she brings your story to life to educate the Chinese people about Australia and raise your business profile within the Chinese community.
Thanks to Annie’s big network of highly influential people both here in Australia and in China, including influencers with millions of followers, your parenting story and business will get the opportunity to be exposed to millions of Chinese shoppers who are eager to open their wallet for quality Aussie products and services.
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采访花絮：
今天我的采访对象是一位非常特别的人-道格福斯，他是Mortage Corp的客户经理。我和道格一起共事了差不多6个月，他是那种走到哪都很受欢迎的典型的澳洲人，幽默，随和，爱家。我记得道格曾说过他放弃自己原来事业的主要原因是想要花更多的时间和家人在一起。“我只是想多陪伴孩子们。他们现在正处于很关键的年龄段，需要我的支持。我不想错过他们任何一个重要的里程碑或者重要活动，我特别喜欢出其不意的出现在他们面前。说实话，我很享受看见他们脸上那种惊喜的表情。当他们再大一点，我会多花点时间在自己身上。”
Today I’m chatting with someone very special, Doug Vohs, Mortgage Corp’s client manager. I’ve worked with Doug at Mortgage Corp for around 6 months now, he’s just the kind of person everyone loves to be around with. He is a typical Aussie，a very lovely family guy who’s funny, chill, very easy to get along with. I remember Doug said one of the main reasons he gave up his business was because he wanted to spend more time with his family, “I just want to be there for them, they both are at a very important age, they need my support and I don’t want to miss the important milestones and important events, I like to surprise them when they were least expect it, I love the smiles on their faces when they see me at an event unexpectedly!” “when they’re a bit older, then I’ll worry about myself.”
Doug 的育儿故事采访记录
Doug Parenting Story Interview Transcript
Annie Deng:说说你和你的家人。Tell me a bit about you and your family.
Doug Vohs: 我叫道格福斯。我的两个孩子，帕特里克和贝拉分别14岁和12岁。我在 Mortgage Corp 做客户经理。Mortgage Corp 是墨尔本5星级投资房贷专家，我们为房屋购买者提供免费房屋贷款中介服务, 帮助投资者量身定制一套物业投资的战略方法，真正帮助房地产投资者把财富长期最大化。在加入Mortgage Corp以前，我经营自己的抵押贷款经纪行差不多10年。
帕特里克和贝拉都是非常活泼的孩子。帕特里克是个游泳健将，贝拉喜欢跳舞。帕特里克对他的游泳训练非常积极，现在他对学业更加积极，希望将来有所成就。他擅长社交，但是倾向于拥有几个特别好的朋友而不是一大群朋友。尽管我们是个爱好体育运动的家庭，帕特里克还擅长弹吉他和日本语。
贝拉的学习成绩非常好。她热爱跳舞，有一大群朋友围着她。她有极强的母性，是家里最好的小帮手。每周给家里做几次晚餐，甚至帮忙叠衣服和做一些其他家务活。贝拉还弹得一手好钢琴。她能够说基本的日语和意大利语，虽然不像她哥哥那么擅长外语。
我和凯茜结婚22年了，婚姻美满。
My name is Doug Vohs. I’ve got two children; Patrick who’s 14 and Bella who’s 12. I’m the client manager at Mortgage Corp – the mortgage specialists for property investors with consistent 5 star customer reviews, we’re based in Melbourne Australia. Prior to joining Mortgage Corp, I ran my own mortgage brokerage for about 10 years.
Patrick and Bella are both really active kids. Patrick’s a swimmer, Bella’s a dancer. Patrick, is highly motivated with his sports (swimming) and becoming more motivated with education hoping to build a bright future for himself. He is very social but tends to have a few really good friends rather than a lot of friends.
While we are a very sporting family, Patrick is also excellent at guitar and Japanese although these are both skills that he gives himself very little credit for.
Bella; school comes very easy for her she has never stepped a foot wrong. She loves her dancing and having lots of friends around her. She is extremely motherly and an exceptional help around the home. Cooking dinner a few times a week and even helping with folding washing or other chores.
Bella is also quite exceptional at Piano and while she hasn’t picked up the language like her brother she has the ability to speak basic Japanese and Italian.
And I’m happily married, for 22 years to Kath.
Annie Deng: 结婚22年！快传授一下秘诀! wow, 22 years! What’s the secret?
Doug Vohs: 秘诀就是我俩都是彼此最好的朋友。在结婚以前直到现在，仍然是这样。当你和一个人交往初期的时候，你要弄清楚自己和对方的目标是什么，想要追求什么。如果其中一个想要周游世界，然而另外一个想马上结婚生子，这就是一个警钟，你俩的婚姻可能并不会美满长久。但是，现在的年轻人好像都不问这些重要的问题。
The secret is just that we’re best friends. Best friends before we got married and we’re still best friends. When you’re dating in the early days, you should know what each other’s goals and ambitions are. If one of you has travelling goals and the other one wants to have kids straight away, that should be warning signs that it’s not going to work. People these days don’t seem to ask those right questions to see if they’re suited.
Annie Deng: 好多夫妻婚前还有结婚后一段时间都是好朋友，但人和环境都会发生变化，，所以很多婚姻最后没能走下去。你22年的婚姻之中遇到过挑战和困难时期吗？你是如何坚持下来的？A lot of people may be friends before they got married and even after but you know things change, people change, so many marriages don’t last these days.
Have you ever had any challenges or tough times in the past 22 years? And what have got you through?
Doug Vohs: 和大多数夫妻一样，我们也经历过很多困难的时期。在那个时候，你要提醒自己为什么选择和对方在一起，你们要一起共同度过这些难关，就是这么简单。有些困难的经历可能会改变你自己的个性。你要站在对方的角度看问题，如果他（她）在工作中遇到了什么困难，你就要多支持理解，彼此相互理解很重要。We’ve always had tough times. Every couple has tough times. You just remind yourself why you’re there together, you’re together to get yourselves through those tough times. It’s as simple as that. Those tough times might change your personality as well. You just need to understand where your partner’s coming from. If they’re having a tough time at work, you just need to be a little bit more supportive and just understand that. It’s about understanding both ways.
Annie Deng: 你觉得自己是个什么样的丈夫？How would you describe yourself as a husband?
Doug Vohs: 一名积极的家庭贡献者。 我不认为家庭角色必须按照男性和女性来划分。凯西和我都经历过事业的不同阶段，处于事业上升期的那个就主要承担养家的责任。有几年凯西是养家的那个，有几年我是养家的那个，根据我们各自的情况而定。我们都在力所能及的为自己的家庭做点什么。 今晚的厨师是先下班回家的那个人， 并不是刻板的一成不变的。 如果凯西做饭，我就洗碗。我们倾向于平均分担家庭责任。
An active family contributor. I don’t necessarily see a male or a female role. Kath and I have gone through different stages of our business life where one of us is on the up and being the major breadwinner. It might have been Kath for a few years, it might have been me for a few years. It depends on the situation. You’re both doing what you can for your own family. Who’s the chef tonight is just whoever comes home first. It’s not stereotypical. If Kath cooks, I do the dishes. we tend to share the responsibilities reasonably evenly!
Annie Deng: 那关于孩子们呢，你们也是平等的贡献者吗？What about with kids? Are you still an equal contributor?
Doug Vohs: 对于养育孩子的理念，我们各自都有不同的规矩。我太太小时候养成了一些个人习惯。比如说，她小的时候挑食，不喜欢吃肉。但是她父亲强迫她一定要多吃肉。所以，现在当我们的儿子挑食的时候，我太太不愿意我强迫他。现在这个事情开始变成一个恶性循环，因为我不能做到严格纪律他的饮食，结果就是他变得甚至比以前更挑食了！我和我太太会根据情况分配家长的责任。我教育儿子比较多，我太太教育女儿比较多。我尝试过画眼线，涂唇膏类似的事，但是做的并不好(大笑），有关男孩子的事情我可以做的更好。会有一点点交叉，但有一个男孩和女孩意味着你的育儿方式往往会根据有所不同。特别是我们的女孩现在12岁，她开始经历青春期。有一些她可以和妈妈谈谈的事情，她不再跟爸爸说了。
I think with our parenting, we have our own parameters for disciplining our children. She has developed things she wouldn’t have liked as a child. For instance, she was a little bit fussy with her food, she didn’t like meat. Her dad was very forceful on her to eat meat. She doesn’t want me to be hard on my son who’s a bit fussy. It turns in vicious circles because where I haven’t been able to discipline him regarding food, he’s even fussier than he would have been! He’s almost gotten away with more! We share the roles depending on different situations. Having a boy and a girl, I do a little bit more of the parenting for the boy and Kath does a bit more of the parenting for the girl. I’ve tried to do eyeliner and lipstick and I’m not very good at it, but the boy stuff I’m a bit better at! There’s a little bit of crossover but having a boy and girl means your parenting does tend to go… Especially our girl is now 12, she’s starting to go through puberty. There’s things she can talk to Mum about that she can’t talk to Dad about anymore.
Annie Deng: 贝拉是个爸爸的乖乖女吗？Is Bella a daddy’s girl?
Doug Vohs: 肯定是。但是很显然现在她有的事情只会跟妈妈说。她经常悄悄给妈妈一个眼神，妈妈便知道她要说什么。她俩用眼神交流，很显然并不想我参与。
My girl is a daddy’s girl, definitely. But now it’s very obvious there’s things she’ll only talk to mum, she’ll have a little look at Mum and Mum will know what she’s trying to say, and I know they’re communicating without speaking, but I’m not part of it.
Annie Deng: 我知道一些父亲和自己的女儿非常亲密，他们甚至可以和女儿一起化妆，做头发，特别好玩。你和你女儿做过类似的事吗？I know some dads are really involved with their daughters and I’ve seen dads and daughters doing makeups and hair together, it’s so funny! Have you done anything similar with your daughter?
Doug Vohs: 我做过头发之类的。美甲好像很流行，但是我从没做过那个。我曾经为了女儿穿上芭蕾舞裙跳舞，在头发沾上发卡，但没涂过口红（大笑）。
I’ve done hair stuff. The nail polish thing is trendy, but I’ve never done that. I’ve done the dress-up thing for my daughter, putting on the tutu and dancing around. Having hairbands glued to my hair, but not lipstick.
Annie Deng: 你的育儿方式在过去的12，14年都经历一些怎样的变化？How have things changed over the past 12, 14 years?
Doug Vohs: 育儿方式是根据孩子的成长不断发生变化的。显然，会有类似于青春期这样的里程碑，但其实孩子小的时候的需求也不一样，男孩和女孩也很不一样。我儿子现在很少喜欢拥抱这种方式，但他知道我们一直在那里。特别是当着朋友的面，他不愿意跟我们拥抱。他可能不会说他不想拥抱，但有一些拥抱的方式会让你明白他的想法。 我们会做一个击掌动作来表达父子之情。 而我的女儿，可能是年龄差别，也可能是性别差异。 她很喜欢拥抱。我喜欢骑自行车，每次看环法自行车赛直播时，她喜欢坐在我腿上。 她现在仍然这样做，很可爱。 男孩和女孩在都以不同方式发生变化，伴随着年龄上的里程碑。
Parenting really changes as your kids grow. Obviously, there’s milestones like puberty, but kids need different things when they’re younger. As with the difference between boys and girls. My son very rarely needs a hug now, but he needs and likes to know that I’m there. He definitely doesn’t want a hug in front of his friends. He might not outwardly say he doesn’t want a hug, but there’s ways of giving a hug without physically giving a hug. We’ll do a knuckle-touch and that’s our show of affection. Whereas with my daughter, there’s a slight age thing, but it’s also a boy-girl thing. She’s very huggy. I’m a cyclist, so she likes to sit on Dad’s knee while he’s watching the Tour de France. She still does it. That’s cute. It changes in different ways, boys and girls, with milestones of age.
Annie Deng: 帕特里克什么时候开始变得不那么喜欢拥抱和亲吻的？When did Patrick stop liking hugs and kisses?
Doug Vohs: 具体到几岁很难说，大概小学5年级左右。差不多在11岁的时候，他开始明显抗拒在公共场合里表达感情。他仍然亲爸爸。每晚上床睡觉或者准备出门上学的时候，都会给爸爸妈妈一个亲吻，在周围没有其他朋友的前提下。
It’s hard to put my finger on an age. I would say around Grade 5, the senior part of primary school. Around age 11. There was an obvious refraining from public affection from then onwards. He still kisses Dad. We go to bed or leave for school, give Mum and Dad a kiss. We still do that when his friends aren’t around.
Annie Deng: 你和帕特里克，贝拉经常一起做些什么事情呢？What kind of things do you do with Bella and Patrick?
我花很多时间陪他俩，陪伴孩子对我来讲很重要，但是我对贝拉关于做头发和化妆之类事情不在行。我陪帕特里克的游泳多一些，我妻子凯西陪贝拉跳舞多一些。那天，贝拉有个表演，她们全天都不在。帕特里克那天正好没事，所以我去观看了贝拉的头两个舞蹈，然后去处理了其他一些杂事。 有男孩和女孩家庭，父母一般会专注不同的孩子，一个主要管男孩另一个主要管女孩。
I’m very big on spending time with both of them, but I’m not good at makeup and Bella’s activities involve having her hair and makeup done. I tend to do more things with Patrick with his swimming and Kath tends to do more things with her dancing. We come together. The other day, she had a concert, they all go all day. Patrick didn’t have anything on, so I made sure I went and watched her first two dances. I went and did the other things I needed to do. With boy and girl, one tends to get segregated and you tend to do more parenting with one than the other.
Annie Deng: 帕特里克游泳训练的频率是什么？How often does Patrick go swimming?
Doug Vohs: 帕特里克是精英半精英级别， 他是凯瑟虎鲨队的成员。 他每周训练8-9次，每次两小时。 他每周训练16个小时。 每周6天。 有比赛的时候训练时间更长。 有几个训练早上五点开始。 其他大部分训练晚上6点开始。 棘手的事情是，训练晚上8点结束，我们必须让他回家睡觉，这样他才可以在第二天早上5点起床。 他适应了缺少睡眠的时间表。 这看起来很难做到，但是他已经习惯了。他从学校放学回家马上就会做功课，直到游泳训练开始。训练完后回家，吃晚饭，九点半睡觉，早上四点五十起床。他的作息安排根据游泳俱乐部安排而定。
My little boy is elite to semi-elite. He’s part of the Casey Tiger Sharks. He trains 8-9 sessions a week, 2 hours each. He does 16 hours of training a week. 6 days a week. And more when he’s got competitions on. He has a few sessions in the morning, 5 o’clock in the morning. Most of his sessions are 6 o’clock in the evening. The tricky thing is that it ends at 8 o’clock at night and we have to get him home and into bed so he can be up at 5 o’clock the next morning. He’s learnt to work without much sleep. It seems really hard, but it works really well with study and stuff like that because when I can’t get home to see him, he comes straight home from school and tells me he does homework as soon as he gets home from school until he goes swimming in the evening. He’ll come home, have dinner and is usually in bed by 9.30 and up at about 4.50. He does mornings and nights depending on the club programme.
Annie Deng: 你想要他长大以后将来做什么？What do you want him to be when he grows up?
Doug Vohs: 我太太在墨尔本大学工作，所以我们知道孩子们对于大学生活了解很多，他们将来以后大概也想进入大学读书。同时，他们明白上大学并不是全部。如果他们手工艺很好，或者喜欢艺术之类的，有很多其他更好的渠道。实话实说，他们俩可能还是会去读大学。重要的是他们知道这并不是人生终极目标。我们为孩子们的教育存了一笔钱。当我们和理财专家谈过这件事时，我们确保他们非常清楚这笔钱不是只能用来缴大学学费，我们讨论过他们是不是一定要去上大学。他们知道还有其他很多路。 有贸易学校，学徒…我感觉如今的社会，每个人都希望自己的孩子上大学。 不幸的是，现如今很多大学毕业生都可能找不到工作， 这是我的个人感觉。
My wife works at Melbourne University, so we’ve always been aware that our kids know a lot about university life and they’re probably going to want to go. It’s also made our kids realise that university is not everything. If they’re crafty, arty, whatever, there are often better channels. I’ll be honest, they probably will both go to university. It’s important that they know that it’s not the be all and end all. We put a bit of money away which is for their schooling. We had the kids there when we talked to the consultant about that and we made sure that they were very aware that this money wasn’t absolutely only for their university, it was a question of IF they wanted to go to university. They’re aware that there’s other avenues. There’s trade school, apprenticeships… The culture today tells us that everyone wants their children to go to university. Unfortunately, they’re pushing more people out of university than will ever get a job after university. That’s my feeling.
Annie Deng: 他们如何看待他们长大后想做什么？How do they feel about what they want to do when he grows up?
Doug Vohs: 帕特里克谈论过长大后想做什么。他现在上8年级（注：相当于中国初中2年级），即将开始9年级。就在不久前，他从网上查到薪水最高的职业然后决定成为一名神经外科医生。我给他解释过当神经外科医生非常难，即便是对特别聪明的人来说也一样。但是他现在的目标是这个，并为此额外努力学习。我们告诉他即便因为买兰博基尼而想要成为神经外科医生也没什么不可以。给自己定高目标，即便最后没有达到，结果也不会太差的。如果他最后没成为神经外科医生，他还是可以称为一个优秀的护士，治疗师，或者足科医生。通过好的教育，他可以努力做到最好。
Patrick definitely talks about what he wants to do. He’s in Year 8, going into Year 9. Just recently, he’s Googled the highest-paying jobs and he’s decided that he wants to be a neurosurgeon! We’ve explained to him how difficult that is, even for someone who is highly intelligent, but he’s running with it at the moment. He’s studying as hard as he can and put in that little bit extra. We’re embracing it because we’re saying to him that even though he wants to be a neurosurgeon because he wants that Lamborghini, aiming for the stars is fantastic because even if you don’t get the stars, you might still get the moon. Even if he doesn’t become a neurosurgeon, he could still become a fantastic nurse, therapist or podiatrist. He can strive to be at the top, but he’d like to come out with a good profession and good education.
Annie Deng: 为什么你向他解释说，成为神经外科医生是非常困难的？Why did you explain to him that becoming a neurosurgeon is very hard?
Doug Vohs: 你总是试图去保护你的孩子。 我们有一个朋友，他的孩子最近申请了一所科学学院很高的奖学金，要求很高的分数，从11年级开始去那里。 他因为没能够被录取而非常失望。反思一下，了解这个孩子和他的背景，他从来没有考虑过申请这所学校，但他的一个朋友申请了，于是他也想尝试。 为保护孩子免受最后的失望，我希望他们知道就算实现不了梦想，还是有其他的选择和机会。You always try and protect your kids from downfalls. We have a friend whose child recently applied to a science school with scholarships that’s very high and requires very high marks to go there. You go there from Year 11 onwards. He was very disappointed that he didn’t get in. On reflection, knowing the kid and his background, he was never going to get in but one of his friends went for it and he wanted to try as well. You want to protect your kids from eventual disappointment and make them aware that there’s other options and opportunities.
Annie Deng: 咱来聊聊贝拉吧。她喜欢舞蹈对吗？Now, let’s talk about Bella. She loves dancing?
Doug Vohs: 是的，她热爱舞蹈，周围也拥有很多朋友。她每周训练五次，但是每次训练时间都很长，大概3，4个小时。一周训练16小时左右。周三没有训练，她现在在精英队。她很清楚自己没有芭蕾舞蹈家那种身高6英尺高，体重30公斤的身材。在舞蹈行业中，谁能成功，谁不能成功一目了然。贝拉比很多舞蹈选手水平更高，但是她们比贝拉有更适合跳舞的身材。这就是舞蹈行业的现实。甚至不用跳一个舞步，评委们就已经知道冠军花落谁家了。不过通过练习舞蹈培养了她很多能力。她非常聪明，可以成为一名很好的舞蹈老师。她很擅长和孩子们相处，可以做一名教育者。她从跳舞中得到了一些跳舞以外的东西。
Yes, she loves her dancing and having lots of friends around her. She dances five days a week, but each session she does is much longer. She’ll be dancing for three or four hours a time. She does about 16 hours a week, too. She has Wednesdays off. She’s in the elite stream. She’s very aware as well that she doesn’t have the body type to be a ballerina because she’s not 6 foot tall and weighing 30 kilograms. It’s too obvious in the dance industry of who’s going to make it and who’s not. I can guarantee you that there are dancers in competitions that she is a much better dancer than, but they have the right body type. It’s just how dancing is. Without the girls dancing a step, they know who the winner is going to be. There’s other things that come with dancing that she gets a kick out of. She’s way too smart, but I can see her being a dance teacher. She’s very good with kids. An educator or something like that. She will get something out of her dancing even if that’s not a dancer.
Annie Deng: 她从什么时候开始跳舞的？When did Bella start dancing?
Doug Vohs: 六岁的时候开始的。我们试着让她早点开始，大概四岁左右，但是没能成功。她那个时候和妈妈分开的时候还有一些分离焦虑。前段时间因为我们不太喜欢她以前那个舞蹈工作室的风气，刚给她换了一个新的地方。 一些学校只注重优等生，而对于不那么优秀的舞者就疏于指导。 贝拉现在的学校是非常全面的，对待每个孩子都很平等。 当两所学校相互比较时，现在的这所学校各方面都更好。
When she was six. We tried to start her much earlier, when she was four, but we failed miserably. She had separation anxiety from her mum.
We changed dance studios a little while back because of the other girls. Some schools push the better dancers up and the people below struggle. The current school that Bella is at is very much all-encompassing where the kids are all equal. When the two schools compete against each other, the current school which encompasses all abilities does much better.
Annie Deng: 贝拉跳什么类型的舞蹈？What kind of dance does Bella do?
Doug Vohs: 贝拉住要跳芭蕾舞和爵士，但是她现在也开始跳一些现代舞和踢踏舞。她除了不喜欢跳hip-hop之外，基本上什么类型都会跳。她能在百老汇或者剧院里面演出。
Bella does predominantly ballet and jazz, but she does a bit of modern and tap recently. She doesn’t do hip hop, she’s not that interested. She does pretty much every other style. She could be on Broadway or theatre shows.
Annie Deng:她明白她可能不是最好的，或者被选为最好的，但她还是想继续跳舞？So she understands that she may not be the best, or chosen as the best, but she still wants to do it?
Doug Vohs: 她从体育活动中发现的其它一些事情推动她不断进步。其实，孩子考虑不到很遥远的未来，大人们对这方面思考的更多。我觉得很重要的一点是让孩子尝试其它事情。贝拉试过很多其它体育运动，游泳和竞技运动。帕特里克必须放弃其它体育项目，因为他的年纪很小没办法同时兼顾两个。我开始有点希望他多做些不一样的事情。我认为孩子们做事需要毅力恒心，比如坚持练完整个赛季。你可以在赛季后退出， 但不要太快退出。
There’s other things she’s found in sport and activity that float her boat. Kids don’t think that far into the future. I think we adults think too much about it.
I think it’s important that kids try other things. Bella has tried other sports, she tried swimming and athletics whereas Patrick had to stop other sports when he was quite young because he couldn’t do both. I’m starting to wish he did some other things. I think kids have to show a degree of commitment with things, that could be that you stay through the season but you can quit after the season. But don’t quit too quickly.
Annie Deng: 你如何安排日常作息？What’s your routine?
Doug Vohs: 我俩之中的一个早上4点50起床，周末也不会太晚起床。周六5点半之前起床，周日通常根据当天孩子们有没有比赛而定。我们都喜欢早起。我的太太喜欢早睡早起。因为孩子们晚上差不多8点才结束课外活动，她需要做晚餐。孩子们差不多九点半睡觉。我和凯西唯一可以在一起的时间就是晚上九点半到十点半，她那个时候已经困的不行了。孩子们严重睡眠不足，我们也跟着“遭殃”（大笑）。
One of us is usually up during the week at 4.50am. On the weekends, it’s not much later than that. Saturdays is before 5.30am, and Sundays it depends on whether they have competitions or not. We’re really early morning people. Even though my wife is an early morning person, she’s naturally a go-to-bed early person. Because our kids are doing activities until 8 o’clock at night, she has to make dinner, and all that. The kids don’t usually go to bed until 9.30pm. The only time Kath and I get together is from 9.30 until 10.30, and she struggles to stay awake until then! That’s our routine. We try to share as much as we can in respect of our sleep-deprived aspects of our kids’ lives.
Annie Deng: 你几点送他们去学校？What time do you drop them off school?
Doug Vohs: 帕特里克自己去上学，游泳训练结束后我负责接他回家。他们俩都自己吃早饭。我家没有坐在一起吃早饭的习惯，大家拿好各自的食物就出发了。贝拉七点起床，现在如果我和凯西都不在家的话，贝拉有时愿意和狗Gidget一起待在家里。之前，如果我太太早上六点一刻要去上班的话，我就要叫醒贝拉，带她一起去帕特里克的游泳训练。
Patrick gets to school himself. It’s just a matter of getting from swimming back home. They both take care of themselves for breakfast. It’s not a sit-down routine in our house anymore, it’s a grab something to run. Bella gets up by 7. She’s now getting to the age where if Kath and I are away from the house, Bella’s happy to be left alone or with the dog, Gidget, it’s not an issue and she’s okay as long as we tell her. Before that, we had to make sure one of us were home or we’d have to wake her to bring her with us. We’re both away if my wife has gone to work at about 6.15 and I’d have to wake Bella and take her to Patrick’s training.
Annie Deng: 你负责送帕特里克去游泳？You take Patrick to swimming?
Doug Vohs: 凯西和我轮流负责送帕特里克去游泳训练。凯西早上六点一刻离开家去工作。如果轮到她，她早上先送帕特里克去游泳，然后回家。游泳训练结束后我去接他，或者我们有一群家长朋友轮流负责接孩子们。
他的游泳训练长达两小时长。他们练习快速，慢速游泳。他目前的教练并没让他们做很多体操训练式的训练，但他原来那样做过。他练习四种不同的泳姿和技术训练。 游泳对身体的伤害很低，而跑步可能会对脚踝和关节带来损伤。 不过只要你有一个相对明智的教练，你很少会因为练习游泳受伤。 但如果单单训练一种泳姿的话，他们仍然可能会过度训练。 帕特里克是个蝶泳运动员，但如果他只蝶泳就会容易受伤。 他目前的教练让他练习混合泳，每种泳姿都练，这样的话不会因为蝶泳对肩膀的过度压力受伤。
Kath and I take it in turns to take Patrick swimming. Kath leaves for work at 6.15, if it’s her turn, she’ll get up and take him to swimming, come home and then I’ll go to pick him up, or there’s a friend group that do pick-ups as well.
The session is 2 hours long. They do fast, slow swimming. His current coach doesn’t make them do a lot of gymnasium-type work, but they used to. It’s all different types. There’s four different types and technical aspects. Swimming is low impact, whereas with running you could hurt your ankles and joints. As long as you’ve got a reasonably sensible coach, it’s difficult for them to injure themselves. They can still have overuse, but that comes with them only doing one stroke. Patrick’s a butterfly swimmer, but if he did just butterfly swimming, he would get injured. His current coach has an individual medley mentality, he does every stroke. He doesn’t get injured because butterfly puts a lot of stress on the shoulders.
Annie Deng: 他为什么那么喜欢游泳？What does he like about swimming?
Doug Vohs: 因为擅长游泳，所以喜欢游泳，就是这么简单。他也喜欢他的一群朋友们，当他处于状态不好的时期，他很喜欢跟自己的一帮朋友一起。他和游泳队的朋友在一起时间比和学校朋友在一起时间更长。
He likes it because he’s good at it, it’s as simple as that. He does like the group of friends. When he goes through periods of bad form, he still loves that his friends are there. He spends more time with his swimming friends than he does with his school friends.
Annie Deng: 他游泳那么好是如何做到的？How did he get so good at swimming?
Doug Vohs: 天生的。我的两个孩子从很小开始游泳。澳大利亚人经常喜欢在海滩，河边或者湖边度假，很难理解家长不教会孩子游泳。帕特里克从四岁看虎鲨队游泳起，就想要学游泳 ，7岁的时候他加入了游泳队。帕特里克不满三岁就开始学习游泳了。我女儿开始的稍稍晚一点。回顾来看，其实没必要那么早开始。在孩子最初几年家长需要做的事是让他们喜欢洗澡，不惧怕水。游泳课是给那些不会教自己孩子的家长开设的。我觉得小学以前开始就可以。如果在孩子成长过程中没有太多机会接触水的话，那孩子要8，9岁开始适应游泳。
It’s natural. Both my kids had to swim until they could swim comfortably. Australians tend to holiday at the beach, river, or lake and it seems insane to me that you don’t teach your kids to swim. Patrick, from when he was four years old could see the Tiger Sharks swimming and that’s what he wanted to do. When he was old enough to do that, 7, he joined.
He started swimming at younger than 3. My daughter started swimming a bit later. On reflection, you don’t need to start that early. The first few years of things you can do as a parent in the bath. As long as you’re doing things with your kid so that they’re not scared of water. Swimming lessons today are developed for parents that can’t teach their kids.
I would think you should do it before primary school years. If you don’t have water play as part of their life when they’re developing, they’ll get to 8 or 9 and not embrace it.
Annie Deng: 从游泳训练回来以后，你们吃早餐？You get back from swimming, you have breakfast?
Doug Vohs: 我家没有正式的早餐。帕特里克经常只吃烤面片或者白面包。我们开始喝蛋白质奶昔。凯西会把早餐麦片带去办公室吃。我有时候喝一杯蛋白质奶昔，混合果汁奶昔。贝拉的饮食习惯最好，她每天早上都换着花样吃，有时候是麦片，或者做熟了的早餐。她完全自己照顾自己，是家里的小帮手。
There’s no formal breakfast in our house, unfortunately. Pat being a fussy eater will go between toast, just plain bread. We’ve started having protein milk. Kath will have muesli. She’ll take her breakfast to work. I have a shake, smoothie or whatever. Bella has the best eating habits. She has something different for breakfast every day. That could be Weetabix, muesli, cooked breakfast. She does it all herself, she’s a little home helper.
Annie Deng: 然后送贝拉去学校？Then you drop Bella off?
Doug Vohs: 我送贝拉上学。帕特里克自己去学校。我8点10分送贝拉去学校，然后直接去上班。I drop Bella off, Patrick takes care of himself. I come to straight to work.
I drop Bella off around 8.10am.
Annie Deng: 帕特里克几点放学？What time does Patrick finish school?
Doug Vohs: 他俩都是三点半放学。帕特里克自己回家。有人去接贝拉回家，或者送她去上舞蹈课。帕特里克的游泳训练稍微晚一些开始，贝拉舞蹈课开始的早，但是她们结束时间都一样。贝拉早上没有舞蹈课。
They both finish at 3.30pm. Patrick makes his own way home, Bella gets picked up by another family member and brought home or to dancing. Patrick’s swimming doesn’t start until later. Bella’s dancing starts earlier, but finishes at the same time as his swimming. She doesn’t do morning stuff.
Annie Deng: 凯西一般几点钟回到家？What time does Kath get home?
Doug Vohs: 凯西下班以后不直接回家，她直接去贝拉上跳舞课的地方。我一般负责送帕特里克去游泳，或者他自己去游泳训练，我去接他。
Kath often won’t come home, she’ll go straight to Bella’s dancing. I’m a mix of taking Patrick to his swimming, or he might have made his own way to swimming. I’ll always pick him up from swimming.
Annie Deng: 你家几点开始晚餐？What time do you have dinner?
Doug Vohs: 大约八点半左右。那个时间在家里的人负责做晚饭。通常我早上会准备一些半成品出来，晚上回到家加工一下就可以吃的那种。如果贝拉八点一刻回到家里，她会把食物准备好。帕特里克从来没有机会做这些事情，因为他非常忙。
我家几乎每天都做新鲜的菜肴，但每周有两天会吃前一天的剩菜。我们可选择的食物非常有限，大概是由于他们所处的年龄的原因，还有我家有个挑食的孩子。我们家所有人都吃一样的菜，有时候是意大利面，鸡肉和蔬菜，炒菜配乌冬面之类，很少做沙拉。
About 8.30.
Whoever’s around cooks dinner. Sometimes, I’ll half-prepare a meal in the morning so it just has to be grilled or whatever. If Bella gets home at 8.15, Bella will throw it all together. Patrick will never do it because he’s never around.
We cook fresh every day, but we have leftovers 2 days out of 7. We have a small range of foods, it might be something to do with their age and I’ve got a fussy child. We don’t separate meals, we cook something that will be eaten by the whole family. It could be spaghetti bolognese, chicken and vegetables, stir fries and udon noodles go down really well, salads aren’t a massive part of our family.
Annie Deng: 帕特里克最喜欢的一道菜是什么？What’s Patrick’s favourite dish?
Doug Vohs: 碳水化合物：米饭，意大利粉，土豆泥，任何简单的碳水化合物食物。我有时候不确定他究竟是挑食，还是懒。有一天，凯西做了炒饭配鸡肉，他超级喜欢吃。这基本上就是他可以接受的最复杂的食物了。如果他吃的是一碗简单的炒饭，意大利粉或者任何碳水化合物，对他来说就是太高兴不过的事了。我尝试让他吃加番茄牛肉酱的意大利面，试着让他接受更复杂的食物。我们需要鼓励他多吃点除了炒饭或者意粉之外的食物，否则不这样做的话，按照他自己的意愿来，他只选择碳水化合物吃。
帕特里克其实并不讨厌蔬菜。时间很紧张的情况下，我们会买那种包装好的水煮蔬菜，或者把蔬菜放在米饭上面，他完全能接受。他特别讨厌把蔬菜混合肉里。他可以把蔬菜当作配菜，放在旁边吃，但是不可以混在食物里面。他不太爱吃肉。我们带他去看过营养学家，但以他的年纪和运动量，饮食上的变化其实作用并不大。我们更多担心的是他的习惯的培养。
他有个来自日本的叔叔，也受到其他文化的影响，出了语言还有食物和寿司。不过他对“亚洲的饮食”的喜欢还是只是说说而已。那次，我带他去Knox看电影。从电影院出来，我告诉他随便想吃什么都可以，他可以自己选择。结果他还是选择了去吃薯条的地方。我想这个问题随着他年纪增长会有所改变的。他明年有机会去一趟亚洲，到时候他将会拥抱那里的饮食和文化。
Carbohydrates. Plain rice, pasta, mashed potatoes, just carbs. I’m not sure if he’s fussy, I think it’s just lazy eating. Kath made homemade fried rice the other day with chicken breast. He loved it. That’s as complex as he would get. If he could eat a bowl of plain fried rice or pasta or any carbohydrate, he’d be in heaven. I tend to make him have spaghetti bolognese with the bolognese on it. That’s my idea of breaking up some of his issues.
We encourage him not to have plain rice or pasta, we push something in his direction to have with it. If we left him to his own accord, that’s what he would do.
Patrick doesn’t hate vegetables. We use those steam-fresh packet vegetables when we’re in a hurry and if I throw them on top of the rice, he wouldn’t care, he’d eat them. If I whipped up grilled lamb, he’d be more fussy. He’d eat it on the side. If you mix it, no. He doesn’t eat much meat. He goes dieticians, with his age and his activity levels, it makes very little difference. It’s more a habit and routine that we worry about.
He’s a very cultured kid. He has a Japanese uncle and he’s very encompassing of other cultures. Not just language, foods and sushi. He likes the idea of Asian foods. I took him to the movies at Knox the other week, we came out and I said he could have whatever he wants and we ended up at the chips place. I think it’ll develop. He has the opportunity next year to go to Asia, when he goes he’ll embrace it.
Annie Deng: 贝拉最喜欢哪道菜？What’s Bella’s favourite dish?
Doug Vohs: 贝拉在各方面都是非常简单随和的人。基本上我们做什么她就吃什么，比如肉搭配三种蔬菜。如果给她任何米饭类食物，那就更省事了。很多时候贝拉自己照顾自己。我们有时候觉得亏欠贝拉。你看家长在调皮孩子身上花了很多时间经历，而忽略了很乖的孩子。
Bella’s very easy in every aspect of her life. She will eat whatever we put in front of her. Meat, three veg. If we gave her a rice dish, she’ll be ridiculously easy. She takes care of herself. With Bella, we sometimes feel guilty, you spend so much of your parenting life parenting the child that’s difficult, the one that’s easy gets forgotten about.
Annie Deng: 孩子们一般九点半睡觉？The kids go to bed at 9.30?
Doug Vohs: 我不喜欢他们这么晚才睡觉，但这个时间恐怕很难提前。我经常需要催着他们睡觉，极少有时候会早睡。
我们还鼓励他们养成睡前阅读的习惯。帕特里克本身就爱好读书，贝拉也喜欢睡前阅读。但他们都没有多少时间读书，这好像不太适合我家的生活方式。九点半以后我和凯西才拥有自己的私人时间，一起看会儿电视或者把第二天要穿的衣服准备好。
I don’t like them going to bed that late, but it’s difficult to go any earlier than that. I’m still on their case to hurry up. It’s rarely any earlier.
We’ve tried to get them into a reading routine. Patrick’s a very good reader so we don’t worry too much. Bella could do with a reading routine. It doesn’t suit our lifestyle. She’s a good reader, but could do with a good routine in that earlier.
At 9.30, Kath and I get a little bit of time together, watch TV, get our clothes ready for the next day, something like that.
Annie Deng: 一周七天都如此吗？Is that seven days a week?
Doug Vohs: 不，只是五天。礼拜六上午帕特里克有活动，下午贝拉有活动，大约11点到两点左右。礼拜天他们经常会参加比赛，半天或是一整天。
No, just five. Saturdays, Patrick has his activities early in the morning. Bella’s activities are in the afternoon, from 11 until 2, something like that. They also compete in competitions regularly on a Sunday. That could be half a day to a whole day.
Annie Deng: 放学之后他们有功课吗？After school, do they have homework?
Doug Vohs: 贝拉做作业非常容易。只要有时间，她在哪里都可以写功课。我们经常会对她进行小测试以来确保她完成了作业。每当我们考她的时候，她都应答入流。她超级喜欢做功课和去学校。尽管帕特里克的野心很大，他仍要更好的调整体育活动，社交和学业之间的平衡关系。目前，他正处于一个很好的阶段，他回到家后马上开始做功课，4点至6点。如果他花一小时时间在学业上，成绩肯定是名列前茅的。
Bella’s very easy with her homework. She’ll do it wherever and whenever she has a moment. We’ve tested her and quizzed her to make sure she’s doing her homework. Every time we quiz her, there’s never a problem. She loves homework and she loves school. Patrick, even though he has high ambitions, his balance of his sporting, social and education life needs to be worked on. At the moment, he’s going through a really good stage. He does his homework from when he gets home around 4 o’clock until about 6 o’clock. If he did an hour of homework a night at his schooling level, he’d be on top of things.
Annie Deng: 你对学校布置的功课什么看法？What do you think of homework?
Doug Vohs: 一半一半。我认为除了生活以外还有其他事情，我最近读了一些相关的书籍。如果老师布置功课，他们就必须花时间检查完成情况。检查作业占用了很多原本应该备课的时间，这二者要保持平衡。在帕特里克这个年纪，他需要学会自我检查。教会他们如何去检查自己的功课。这样就不会占用老师的时间去批改评估学生的作业，老师们可以专注下一节课的授课。课程完成以后，孩子们学到了应学的知识，作为15岁的孩子，回家里检查自己的学习应该是他们自己的任务。如果是数学课，他们学习了第一章到第三章，那就是重新把课上的内容阅读一遍。帕特里克很擅长阅读，所以我们不会监督他读书。对有些孩子而言，就是把教科书重新读一遍或写篇学习总结就好了。
I have a balanced perspective on it. I think there’s other things outside of life. I’ve been doing a bit of reading about it recently. If teachers set homework, they have to go and review the homework. Reviewing it takes time off them creating class activities. You really need to be balanced. At Patrick’s age, he needs to be learning more about reviewing. Teaching himself and learning how to review. That doesn’t take any time from the teacher in marking and assessing, the teacher can concentrate on the next class on the next day. The class is set, the kids learn what they have to learn. It’s a 15 year old’s job to go home and review it.
If it’s mathematics and they’re doing Chapter 1 to Chapter 3 of a textbook, it would be as simple as re-reading what they’ve been doing. Patrick’s a very good reader so we’re not on his back about reading. Some kids, they might just have to read a textbook chapter again or write a summary.
Annie Deng: 你怎么看待公立学校和私立学校？What do you think of public and private school?
Doug Vohs: 帕特里克初一的时候上过一年私立学校，然后他从那里退学转到公立学校。我们考察了当地的公立学校，尽管里面的设施比私立学校旧一些，但是背后的教学理念是一样的。二者有着极其相似的教学方式，所以我觉得根本不值得每年花费$10,000上私立。凯西和我都在公立学校读书，我俩很喜欢这个体系。如果家长没有时间或者不能给孩子们报体育活动，夏令营，带他们去度假的话，私立体系很适合这样的家长。如果你有时间经常和孩子们一起活动，就没这个必要。
Patrick went to a private school for his first year of secondary schooling. We withdrew him because we reviewed the systems of the local public schools and even though the facilities were more aged than the private schools, the emphasis behind them was the same. The way they were teaching was so similar, I didn’t think it was worth the $10,000 a year I was spending on schooling. Kath and I went through a public system and we were quite happy with it. If you’ve got parents who don’t have time or can’t do the added extra things like sports, camping, holidays, the private school system is very good because they do the extra things. As a parent, if you’re able to be a part of your kid’s life, you don’t need it.
Annie Deng: 你的孩子们面临的最大的挑战是什么？What’s the biggest challenge with your kids?
Doug Vohs: 目前来看，最大的挑战是在保持自己工作的状态下带他们到处跑。保持工作，家庭和课外活动的平衡。身为两个十几岁孩子的家长，育儿方式要跟的上他们的个性变化。 贝拉正在经历青春期。尽管她是世界上最容易养的孩子，仍然会时不时有些小情绪。 帕特里克经常挑战我的权威，认为他是“老板”。 我要保持好我们维持之间关系的边界线。
At the moment, it’s getting them from one place to the next while still having a working life. Trying to get a balance of working, home and activity lives. With two teenagers, it’s a challenge keeping up with their changes in personality and their requirements from parenting. Bella going through puberty, while she’s the easiest kid in the world, has some moodiness. You just have to be aware of that. Patrick is really pushing the line, he thinks he’s boss. My challenge there is keeping that line there
Annie Deng: 他如何挑战你的权威呢？How does he push the line?
Doug Vohs: 他是个典型的青少年。经常说事情该如何去做，而且总试图用自己的方式做。 比如，不能保持他的房间干净，花太多的时间在他的手机上。 在他们小的时候，他们尊重你的育儿方式和父母的权威。 当他们长大一些之后，便失去了那些尊重。
He’s a typical teenager. Saying how things get done and always trying to do it his way. You have to bring back how things get done. Things as simple as not keeping his room clean to spending too much time on his phone. When they’re younger, they respect your parenting and your position of authority. When they get older, they lose that respect.
Annie Deng: 你训导他的时候，他通常会有什么反应？When you discipline him, what does he do?
Doug Vohs: 我经常在家的时候他会收拾自己的房间。他知道我什么时候忙起来，他就可以趁机偷懒了。每个人都一样，这像是个周期性的现象。在他成长过程中的不同阶段，对他重要的事情也不一样。几年前，我们重新装修过他的房间，他曾经保持过屋内一年干净整洁，因为他当时非常喜欢自己的房间，现在他又过了这个阶段。
He does it when I’m around to look at his room. He knows when I’m busy and he knows that when I am, he can relax! Everyone’s like that. It’s a real periodical thing. At different stages in his life, different things are important to him. We redid his room a couple of years ago and for 12 months it would have been spotless because he was proud of it, but they get over that.
Annie Deng: 如何保持这个平衡点呢？How do you keep that balance?
Doug Vohs: 到了14岁这个年纪，有时候你开始困惑如何惩罚他们。通常我会拿走他的东西，比如手机。但是现在我们因为工作经常不在家，他们不带手机会使我们很不放心。如果我拿走他的手机，最终到底在惩罚谁？我们自己。找到合适的能够没收的东西非常难。他的游泳训练是他生命中很关键的一部分，所以我不能告诉他不可以去参加训练。如果他不去的话，他的教练会打电话告诉我不能这样做。
They get to an age where you wonder how you punish a 14 year old. Usually, I just take stuff off him, like his phone. But because we’re away from the family with work so often, we’re not comfortable with him not having his phone. If we take his phone off him, who are we punishing? Ourselves. Finding things we can take off him is really hard. His swimming is a reasonably serious part of his life, so I can’t tell him he’s not going because it’s instrumental. If he didn’t go, his coach would be on the phone to me telling me I can’t do that!
Annie Deng: 你认为自己是什么样的家长？What kind of parent would you say you are?
Doug Vohs: 我是个相对放松的家长，没有那么多严厉的规矩。有些规矩是为了帮助他们自己。 帕特里克有家里的钥匙，我告诉他，开门以后把钥匙放到书包前面的兜里。 我制定这些规则，因为我知道他健忘，如果他不这样做，很可能会丢掉钥匙。 我制定规则都是有原因的。 我尽可能多地参与孩子们的各种活动。
I’m reasonably relaxed. I don’t have a lot of strict rules. There’s things I’ve put in place to help them. Patrick has a house key, and I tell him to put the key in the front pocket of his school bag when he unlocks the door. I bring in those rules because I know he’s forgetful and he’ll lose it if he doesn’t do it. I bring in rules for a reason. I’m involved with both their kids and their activities as much as I can be.
Annie Deng: 凯西是什么类型的家长？What kind of parent do you think Kath is?
Doug Vohs: 凯西也是个相对放松的家长。在我和她之间，她更感性，喜欢拥抱的那类型，我喜欢鞭策孩子们，不断鼓励他们努力做最好的自己。凯西在出现不如意的时候出现，给予孩子们情感上支持。
She’s reasonably relaxed as well. The two of us together work in that she’s the more affectionate, cuddles person whereas I’m more the motivator. I’m the pusher, strive for the top, do your best. She’s there for when things don’t work out.
Annie Deng: 你最自豪的时刻是什么时候？What’s your proudest moment?
Doug Vohs: 每天都是自豪的时刻。帕特里克从一个中等水平孩子变成一个拥有远大目标的人。他的努力让我们很骄傲。贝拉是个完美的孩子。她关心他人，以及主动帮助他人让我们很骄傲。他们的成长中都有不同的里程碑。
Every day’s a proud moment. With Patrick, he’s gone from being a middle-class student to really having lofty goals. His effort to do that makes us proud. Bella’s the perfect child. How she takes care of people and how she steps in to help people makes us proud. They grow with milestones.
Annie Deng: 育儿过程中犯的最大的错误是什么？What’s big mistakes in parenting?
Doug Vohs: 贿赂。 随着孩子们长大，贿赂也变得越来越大。 这是我从中学到的育儿错误。你因为忙碌而养成了一些不良习惯。比如，明天有朋友来访，家里草还没割，我们要上班太忙，我就会给儿子一点钱让他帮忙除草。
Bribery. As the kids get older, the bribes become so much bigger. That’s a parenting mistake I’ve learnt from. You get into bad habits because you’re busy. For example, a friend is coming to visit tomorrow but we haven’t had the time to mow the lawn, it’s so easy to just give Patrick some money and ask him to help.
Annie Deng: 你有没有曾认为自己不是个好家长？Have you ever felt like you’re not a good parent?
Doug Vohs: 你经常问自己类似的问题。我一直说贝拉是个很容易的孩子，所以我们花在她身上的时间少一些。我们经常想是不是应该给予她和帕特里克同样多的时间和关注。你总在怀疑自己的育儿方式。直到孩子们长大成人离开家的那一刻，才会知道现在的方式方法起没起效果。你只是希望让他们成为最好的自己。
You always question it. I’ve been saying that Bella is a really easy child and that means that we give her less time. It plays on our mind that we should give her just as much time and attention as Patrick. You’re always worried about your parenting. I’m not going to find out whether what I’m doing now has worked or hasn’t worked until they’ve left home. You just hope that you’ve raised them to be the best that they can be.
Annie Deng: 你最喜欢做父亲的那个方面？What do you love most about being a parent?
Doug Vohs: 家庭，那种每次回到家里有一群人在那里的感觉。我非常期待和帕特里克和贝拉做朋友。但是现在还不行，我必须做好父亲的角色。如果变成了伙伴，我就不能向父亲一样管教他们。
Family. You just love having a group of people to come home to. I look forward to being a mate to Patrick and Bella. At this stage, I can’t be a mate, I have to be a dad. If I’m a mate, I can’t do those disciplinary things that he needs.
Annie Deng: 你最享受和孩子们一起做什么事情？What do you enjoy doing most with your kids?
Doug Vohs:贝拉喜欢传统的家庭生活。其中一件事就是喜欢坐在我腿上一起看环法自行车赛集锦。我家的传统是，当我们支持的队伍比赛时，全家人都要坐下来一起看。 帕特里克，还是游泳相关的活动。
With Bella, she likes the different family traditions. One of them is that she sits on my knee during the Tour de France highlights. We have a Grand Final tradition when the family come down from the country and we watch it together. That’s more special to her. With Patrick, it’s about swimming.
Annie Deng: 孩子们最喜欢读的书，玩的玩具和游戏是什么？Your kids’ favourite childrens books, toys and games.
Doug Vohs: 帕特里克喜欢读”过时”书籍，这并没什么不好。我们都非常喜欢纳尼亚传奇:狮子，女巫，魔衣橱，指环王和哈利波特系列。我们还一起玩游戏，特别是在全家一起度假的时候。去度假时我们会带上纸牌游戏。 玩桌游，大富翁，拼词游戏。我们听很多音乐，青少年有他们喜欢的音乐风格。小时候，我带帕特里克去听the Wiggles音乐会，贝拉去the Fairies。不同年龄喜欢的东西不一样。
户外活动非常重要，直到我的孩子们大一些我才意识到他们缺少户外活动时间。帕特里克现在14岁，每当你让他自由活动，自己做选择时，有点无所适从，不是知道该做些什么。其实在成长过程中，他们参加过很多公园里的聚会之类的，所以可能情况并没有那么糟糕。我记得我自己小时候花很长时间在外面玩，不到天黑不会回家的。
Patrick reads books like they’re going out of fashion. No issues with that. We’re all big on the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Getting onto the Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. We do play games, but they’re a bit of a holiday thing for us. When we go, we take Uno. We play card games, Monopoly, Scrabble. We have a lot of music, teenagers have their own tastes, I took Patrick to the Wiggles concert, Bella went to the Fairies. They have their favourites at different stages.
Spending time outdoors is so important and I’m realising that my kids missed out on that as they get older. Patrick’s 14 now and he doesn’t know what to do, he’s been given some lee-way but when he’s been given independence he doesn’t know how to.
Growing up, they had a lot of parties in the park and stuff so it’s probably not that bad. But I remember when I was younger I used to go out when it was light and not come home until it was dark.
Annie Deng: 你提到过帕特里克喜欢上摄影。什么时候开始的？You mentioned earlier Patrick’s into photography. When did he start it?
Doug Vohs: 一年以前开始的。他学得很快。我们有当摄影师的朋友。他通过参加我们朋友的聚会开始接触摄影的。我们其中的一个朋友在聚会上给别人拍照。帕特里克喜欢拍景色景观。他擅长电脑，用电脑编辑处理照片。
12 months ago. He took it up really quickly. We have friends who are photographers. How he came across it is because he’s getting interested in coming to our friends’ parties. One of our friends has a job where he goes to people’s parties and takes photos. He’s got into scenery and landscapes. He’s good at computers so he mixes that with editing his photos.
Annie Deng: 说说最近一次有意义的旅游，有什么不寻常之处？Tell me about a trip that you’ve recently been on and what do you love about it?
Doug Vohs: 我们两年前去意大利旅行，孩子们非常喜欢。帕特里克当时12岁，刚开始进入青春期。度假的第一周他很不愉快，因为他正处于叛逆期，他总说“看那些东西那么旧多没有意思。” 所以，第一周过的非常痛苦。但现在回想起来，他发觉其实自己非常喜欢那边，后悔没充分利用度假的时间。他现在翻照片的时候会感叹景色很迷人，这些记忆对他来说非常重要。他们的荷尔蒙使自己变得不能控制自己，当你把他们从自己的舒适区带走的时候，他们会发疯的。我个人特别喜欢那次旅行。
我喜欢和孩子们一起旅行。他们在罗马见到了更形各色的人。孩子们看到穷人，会想要帮助他们，同时也看到了一些极度富裕的人。让孩子们见识如此大的对比是很惊奇的一件事。帕特里克非常喜欢亚洲文化，但有时接触一些不同的欧洲文化也很有意思。他们都会说一点点意大利语，我会鼓励他们多练习口语，用意大利语点餐。听懂别人说什么并且用意大利语回答问题。
We went on a holiday two years ago to Italy. They loved it. Patrick was 12 at the time, starting to go through puberty. For the first week, he was just a little s*** because he was going through that really contraire phase. ‘Look how old everything is’. The first week was painful. But now when he reflects on it and realises what he was like and wishes he made more of the time. He looks at the photos now and thinks they were amazing. He’s got that memory and it’s important to him. They can’t control it, their hormones just go berserk and when you take him out of his comfort zone and he’s not quite sure… I absolutely loved that trip.
I loved being in a position where we could travel with our kids. There was a range of people they got to meet and see in Rome, especially. Letting my kids see those poor people and want to help them as well as seeing the extremely wealthy. For the kids to be able to see those contrasts, it’s pretty amazing. Patrick is quite developed into Asian culture, but it was interesting and different to get a bit of European culture. They speak a little bit of Italian, and I would make them try to speak it, order their food in Italian. Also for them to listen and give a response back.
Annie Deng: 他学习意大利语和日语？He studies Italian and Japanese?
Doug Vohs: 他兄妹俩都在学习日语和意大利语。帕特里克他很擅长日语。 他有一个日本的叔叔，我的妹夫。 他和叔叔非常亲近。 文化已经通过参加各种活动根深蒂固的植入他的身体。 他有机会明年去日本，会看看会发生什么。
They both do Japanese and Italian. He’s quite entrenched in Japanese, he’s quite good at it. Patrick has a Japanese uncle, my brother in law. He’s always been quite close to his uncle. The culture has been ingrained in him early on from activities with him. He has an opportunity to go to Japan next year so we’ll see what happens.
Annie Deng: 你给家里有青少年的孩子们的家长哪些建议呢？What advice would you give to parents in dealing with teenagers?
Doug Vohs: 家长需要明白当孩子进入青春期时，孩子身心都经历着巨大的变化。 贝拉现在正在经历这个，这段时间对他们自己来说其实比你想象的更难。You need to be aware of that time period, when they’re going into puberty there’s a lot of things changing. Bella’s going through it at the moment. It’s harder on them than you give them credit for.
Annie Deng: 你如何保持工作生活之间的平衡？How do you keep a work-life balance?
Doug Vohs: 的确是个挑战。对我来讲，我还是有一些工作和生活之间的平衡，因为我周日早上会去骑车。每周几天，我会出去骑大概一小时的自行车。凯西很难找到一个平衡点，她没有属于自己的活动时间。她需要这样的平衡。
It’s a challenge. For me, I keep a balance because I still do things for myself. Cycling on Sunday mornings. A couple of days a week I get out for an hour or so of cycling. Keeping those activities for myself. Kath struggles more with a balance. She doesn’t have activities that are just hers. She needs to do that.
Annie Deng: 你一直都骑车吗？Have you always done cycling?
Doug Vohs: 我在孩童，少年和青年的时候喜欢跑步。但是成年以后很不一样，骑车更简单一些，不会受伤。跑步容易受伤。
I was a runner as a kid, teenager, young adult. It’s very different as an adult, it’s easier cycling, you don’t get injured. Running, you get injured.
Annie Deng: 骑车带给你什么呢？What does cycling bring to you?
Doug Vohs: 当我还曾是青少年的时候，喜欢骑车去探索。去不一样的地方，看看每次是不是能比上周骑的更远。现在，探索的意义还在，但更多的是挑战。有很多有关赛车的手机应用程序和社团活动可以参加，去挑战不一样的距离，路途，等等。
When I was a teenager, I used to cycle to explore. Find different places, see if I could ride further than I did last week. Now, it’s still exploring a bit, but it’s still a challenge. There’s cycling apps and communities where you can challenge yourself to different distances, different roads… It’s challenges.
Annie Deng: 你之前说凯西需要对自己好一点，做一些自己喜欢的事？You said Kath needs to do more for herself.
Doug Vohs: 凯西自己没什么真正的兴趣爱好，但她比我更喜欢阅读。但她总是把家庭放在自己前面。Kath doesn’t have her own real hobby. She reads more than I do. She’d do stuff for the family before she did stuff for herself.
Annie Deng: 最后，请分享一下育儿心得，建议？Finally, please share some parenting tips and advice with other parents?
Doug Vohs: 你的育儿风格需要有适当的灵活性。 你的孩子会成长，他们需要的东西（不是想要的）你需要做好准备。 不要让你的孩子们养成某些习惯，然后认为随着年龄增长会逐渐去掉。 习惯可能真的根深蒂固， 它们不可能自行消失，需要早点把它们扼杀在萌芽状态。 每个孩子都是不一样的。 有些需要拥抱，有些需要严厉的纪律。 如果你最开始说要严厉，你可能并不总是需要这样做。 你应该让自己的育儿方式根据家庭生活需要而变化。
You need to be reasonably flexible with your parenting style. Your kids will develop. The things that they need, not want, you need to be prepared for that. Habits, don’t let your kids get into them thinking they’ll grow out of it. Habits can be really ingrained. It’s unlikely they’ll grow out of it. Nip it in the bud early. Every kid’s different. Some need cuddling, some need hard discipline. If you say from the forefront that you’re going to be strict, you might not always need to be. You should let that evolve according to what the family life needs.
Annie Deng: 关于 Mortgage Corp,你喜欢工作中的那些部分？About Mortgage Corp, what do you love about your work
Doug Vohs: 帮助人们实现自己的梦想，无论是他们投资的第一家还是第六家房产， 有时他们可能认为自己只能负担得起四套房子，经过我们的帮助，他们现在拥有了6套房子。
Helping people to achieve their dreams whether it is the first home or 6th investment property. Perhaps they thought they’d only be able to afford 4.
Annie Deng: 你如何做到呢？How do you do that?
Doug Vohs: 与许多贷款经纪人不同的是，许多贷款经纪人可以提供给你一般贷款，但并没有技能，经验或资源，真正帮助房地产投资者把财富长期最大化。Mortgage Corp帮助投资者规划一套物业投资的战略方法。
我们会根据你的个人情况，长远目标，目前的财务状况为您量身制定适合你个人/家庭的贷款结构，包括：低利率，无银行费用或低费用，灵活的条件和可服务性，以及促进税收节省和最大限度地提高投资机会的贷款结构。 简单地说，Mortgage Corp致力于帮助您获得最适合您的贷款（和贷款结构），以便可以更快地扩大您的房地产投资机会，更快实现您的财务目标。
我们的服务是完全免费的。
To find out how we can help you customise a loan solution to help you reach long term investment success, I invite you to book a Free Loan Strategy Consultation or call 1300 138943.
Unlike many mortgage brokers that may be able to help you with general loans but simply don’t have the skills, experience or resources to genuinely help property investors maximise long-term wealth, Mortgage Corp helps investors develop a strategic approach to property investing.
This strategic approach means accessing our full suite of benefits to develop an appropriate mortgage structure for you that may include: discounted premium interest rates, low or waived fees, flexible conditions and serviceability and a loan structure that facilitates tax savings and maximises further investment opportunities. Put simply, Mortgage Corp is genuinely committed to helping you get the right loan (and loan structure) for your situation so that you can grow your property investment portfolio faster, and reach your financial goals sooner.
And our service is completely free.
To find out how we can help you customise a loan solution to help you reach long term investment success, I invite you to book a Free Loan Strategy Consultation or call 1300 138943.
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您喜欢这个故事吗？那些方面可以改进？您想听什么方面的育儿故事？请建议其他您关心但没有谈到的话题？点击留言或直接邮件info@miamadeinaustralia.com
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