澳大利亚幼教老师谈小学及幼儿园择校

An Ex Kinder Teacher’s Guide To Choosing A Primary School & Kinder

澳洲育儿故事主人公简介：Darren

Darrenn, 资深前幼教，IT工程师，澳大利亚墨尔本在线发票软件 Invoice Online创始人。致力于为中小型公司提供省时省事省钱的在线发票软件及服务。

采访人：Annie Deng – 安妮·邓

Annie Deng安妮·邓，澳洲顶级营销战略家, 高级翻译, 澳洲通, 中澳混血妈妈，移民澳大利亚十多年，现任澳洲投资房贷 Mortgage Corp市场总监。Annie采访来自各行各业的澳大利亚西人父母，从普普通通的清洁工，老师，工程师到赫赫有名的公司老总及澳洲政府官员, 通过精彩动人，富有感染力的澳洲育儿故事为中国和世界介绍展示澳洲淳朴的风土人情，丰富多彩的生活及澳洲经商之道。让广大华人客观全面了解澳大利亚教育，礼仪，生活，风光，商务及生意经。

Join Annie Deng, a top marketing strategist and storyteller as she brings your story to life to educate the Chinese people about Australia and raise your business profile within the Chinese community.

Thanks to Annie’s big network of highly influential people both here in Australia and in China, including influencers with millions of followers, your parenting story and business will get the opportunity to be exposed to millions of Chinese shoppers who are eager to open their wallet for quality Aussie products and services.

Book an interview with Annie today today and have your business promoted to millions of Chinese people without pushy sales techniques or faceless selling.  

采访花絮：

Darren 给我的感觉就是个很随和的父亲，典型的搞技术的澳洲人，友善，朴实，幽默，热情。作为一个在幼儿园工作多年的幼教老师同时有着2个在私校读小学的儿子，Darren 对如何选择幼儿园及小学说起来滔滔不绝。相反，虽然Darren对自己刚满2岁的“宝贝”：一个专门为中小企业量身定做的在线发票软件 (Small Business Accounting Software) 视为掌上明珠，不过让他谈谈公司的时是，Darren却点到为止，说自己是做技术的不是搞销售的，不会花言巧语，所以提供免费试用产品，让产品自己说话。我特别喜欢澳洲这边很多这样的实力派：－）

Darren 的育儿故事采访记录

Darren’s Parenting Story Interview Transcript

 

Annie Deng: 首先介绍一下你自己吧。 Tell me about yourself.

Darren: 我已经老了，而且还在一天天变老。（大笑）

I’m old, getting older by the day! (Laugh)

 

Annie Deng: 说说你的家庭吧！ Your family?

Darren: 我太太和两个男孩。六岁和七岁。达西和马克。学前班和一年级。我们曾经考虑过再要一个孩子，但是后来由于太忙而放弃了。我来自于一个有着七个兄弟姊妹的大家庭，我的父亲母亲好像总是有时间陪我们，但现在这样的日子可望不可及。虽然养育孩子是一件快乐的事情，但是我们实在负担不起更多的孩子了。

I’m happily married with two boys. Darcy and Mac. They’re six and seven. In prep and year 1. We thought about another baby but we decided against it because it’s so busy. I grew up with seven kids in our family. Mum and dad always had time, but these days it’s impossible. We can’t afford it. It’s fun work (with the kids), though.   

 

Annie Deng: 你觉得作为父亲，你的风格是什么样子的？How would you describe your parenting style?
Darren: 我扮演家里的坏警察，妈妈是好警察。我是那个经常对孩子们说不的人。

I’m the bad cop. Mum’s the good cop. I’m the one who always has to say ‘don’t’.

 

Annie Deng: 孩子们如何回应你的”不“呢？How do they respond to it when you say “no”?

Darren:孩子们很聪明，他们会根据不同情况判断我是否真的生气了，应该立即停止。妈妈作为家里的好警察，孩子们经常不知道什么时候该停止。

They know when I’m getting upset and it’s time to stop. Whereas with mum being the good cop, they don’t know when to stop.

 

Annie Deng: 孩子们如何评价你呢？How would your children describe you?

Darren: 在学校里，到了父亲节这一天，孩子们会介绍他们有个什么样的爸爸。他们就会说”爸爸喜欢电脑，爸爸喜欢和我们一起玩乐高玩具，辅导我们做作业，陪我们一起玩。”

At school, they had to do this father’s day thing where they had to say what my daddy’s like. It was just things like ‘Dad likes computers, Dad likes playing with me and my Lego, helping me with my homework, going for a run’.

 

Annie Deng: 你的两个孩子是什么样的孩子？How would you describe your children?

Darren: 爱问问题。上周他们问了我好多问题，比如蝙蝠侠最大的敌人是谁，谁是超人的敌人，或者你知不知道Lex Luther是谁。。

Questioning. Last week it was a lot about who’s Batman’s biggest enemy. Or who’s Superman’s enemy. Or ‘do you know who Lex Luther is’.

 

Annie Deng: 他们为什么这么喜欢问你问题呢？Why do you think that they come to you?

Darren: 大概因为我是男的吧。他们没准儿认为男的知道很多有关超级英雄的故事。除此之外，我的记忆里确实还不错。

Probably because I’m male. They seem to think that men should know about superheros. I remember a lot of bullsh*t! I remember a lot, I’ve got a good memory.

 

Annie Deng: 你的日常安排？What’s your routine?

Darren: 我六点起床，洗澡吃早饭。我大约7点钟去工作，下午4点回家。有时候尽管我不在工作，我还是需要一些私人时间。

I get up at 6, half past 6. Get up, shower, get breakfast. I go to work at about 7 in the morning and come home around 4. Sometimes, even though I’m working, I still need my ‘me time’.

 

孩子们周一到周五上学，8点半到下午3点半。 我的太太负责接送孩子们上下学。

My boys go to school Monday to Friday，8.30am to 3.30pm.  My wife does the school pick up and drop off .

 

周二晚上游泳，周三戏剧班，周四曲棍球，周六游泳课。

Swimming on Tuesday, drama on wednesday, hockey on Thursday, swimming on Saturday.

 

Annie Deng: 你在家的时间一般有多长？How much time do you spend at home on average?

Darren: 我太太是个护士，她每两周工作三天。周末的时候，我一般会陪孩子。我觉得我陪孩子的时间比其他一些爸爸们陪孩子时间长一些。

My wife works three days a fortnight. She’s a nurse. On the weekends, I usually go do stuff with them. A fair bit. Probably a lot more than some other dads.

 

Annie Deng: 你和孩子们相处最大的挑战是什么？So what’s your greatest challenge with the kids?

Darren: 如何让他们一直有事情做。和大多数孩子都一样，他们的注意力集中时间非常短暂。Keeping them occupied. They have very short attention spans. Most kids do.

 

Annie Deng: 你和孩子们一起做什么？What kind of things do you enjoy doing together?

Darren: 带他们去博物馆或是新的儿童乐园。带他们去跑，去疯，消耗体力，启发他们多问问题。 Taking them to a museum or taking them to a new playground. Something to tire them out. Get them running around, asking questions.

他们有时候参加课外活动，网球，曲棍球，和戏剧。但是作为父母，你想要花很多时间去陪伴他们，并不是把他们交给别人。不过，有时候陪孩子玩确实不是件容易的事。他们玩一个多小时乐高玩具以后，还是会感到无聊，想要找别的事情做。有时候兄弟俩打架，你就会把他们分开。但是如果你分开他俩，他们又特别想在一起玩，诸如此类。

One has tennis, one has hockey, one does drama. You wanna spend as much time with them, not just pass them on to somebody else. Sometimes it’s so hard. They’ll play with Lego for an hour and then they’ll look for something else to do. Then they’ll fight and you’ll have to separate them. But if you separate them, they get upset because they want to be together…

Annie Deng: 你的个人体会，这种情况下做什么最有效呢？What have you done that you find to be effective in dealing with fights?

Darren: 奖励是最好的办法。今年我们全家去昆士兰度假。我会告诉他们，“好的，如果你们表现好，等到了Caloundra那边，你们就可以做什么什么。” 由于他们的注意力时间非常短，有时候会忘记你嘱咐过的话。你需要时不时提醒他们会得到什么奖励，他们就又会变得非常积极配合。

Rewarding them with good stuff. This year we went to Queensland for a holiday. Sunshine Coast. We said, ‘okay if you’re good and you do this stuff, when we get to Caloundra, you can do this and that…’. Because they have a short attention span, sometimes they forget, but you just have to keep on reminding them what’s coming up. They get motivated, but they forget.

Annie Deng: 除了奖励之外，还有什么其他有效的办法（面对带孩子时候的困难）？Apart from rewarding them, what else do you do that’s effective to deal with your challenges?

Darren: 及时的离开，保持冷静。深呼吸，出去转一圈然后回来。如果不这样做的话，你就会控制不住对孩子们发脾气。

Walking away and not getting angry. Taking a breath, go away and come back. If not, you’ll end up getting mad at them.

 

Annie Deng: 孩子们一般喜欢做什么？What do they normally like to do?

Darren: 如果外面很冷，他们喜欢待在家里看DVD。但如果天气像今天一样非常好的话，他们喜欢去公园。

If it’s cold outside, watch DVDs. But if it’s a nice day like today, they’ll want to go to the park.

 

Annie Deng: 拥有一个父亲最大的好处是什么？What’s the advantage of having a dad?

Darren: 可以给他们一个更加全面的世界观。他们通过女性角色只可以观察到女性视角，但常常看不到另一面。这就是为什么很多单亲家庭的妈妈希望学校里有位男老师，这样他们的孩子可以得到家里给予不了的那个男性视角。我的两个孩子上的学校是基督教学校，99%的孩子来自于双亲家庭。

It gives them a rounded view of the world. Having a woman, they get to see the female side, they don’t get to see the man, masculine side. There’s a lot of single mums, they all would love to have a male teacher so the kids have a male role model to look up to. I don’t think a lot of kids have that. The school that my kids go to is a Christian school, so it’s pretty much 99% of the parents are married.

 

Annie Deng: 是私校吗？Is it private?

Darren: 是的，是私立学校。 Private, yeah.

 

Annie Deng:你刚才提到你曾经是个幼儿园老师？You mentioned you were a kindergarten teacher?

Darren: 我年轻的时候离开大学，成为了一名幼儿园老师。在90年代，人们大多对男性从事幼教工作有一定的偏见。我的女上司不喜欢学校里的男老师们。孩子们很喜欢我们，只是那些女性管理者认为幼儿园里不应该出现男性老师。不知道为什么，幼儿园是个以女性老师为主导的领域。而后，我决定重返大学学习计算机专业。

When I was younger, I left university. I was a teacher. Back in the early 90’s, there was a big thing against male kindergarten teachers. I had a feminist director who didn’t like male teachers. Kids love them, but it’s just the feminist directors seem to think men don’t belong in kindergarten teaching. It was really female-dominated. I don’t know what the reason was.I decided to go back to uni and study IT.

Annie Deng: 作为一个前幼儿园老师和家长，你对公立学校和私立学校持什么样的看法？ As an former kingdergarten teacher and a father of two,  what do you think of private school and public school.  

Darren: 我觉得私校更好。我有几个朋友，他们的孩子在公立学校上学，有时候会遇到因为一个孩子跟不上而影响全班进度的情况。因为学校要根据每个学生的水平而调整教学。然而，在私校遇到这种情况，通常会邀请专门的老师来特殊照顾落后的同学，有针对性的帮助他提高。并且不会影响其他大多数学生的正常进度。在公立学校资金有限的情况下没有能力请额外的教师。因为公立学校并不以盈利为目的。

I prefer private schools. We have friends whose kids are having a lot of difficulty because there’s one kid who’s bringing the whole class down. In a public school. And the school has to look after their kids. Whereas at a private school, they can bring in someone special to work with that kid. They aren’t afraid to spend money on their education. Whereas at a public school, they haven’t got the funds to say ‘we need a new teacher, bring someone in’. You can’t make a profit out of a school. So any money that comes into the school has to be spent on the school.

 

Annie Deng: 我了解到很多澳洲本地人对小学不是很重视，我以为大家到了初中以后才开始决定是否要上私校。I know a lot of Aussies that are very relaxed about primary schools. I thought people only look at private school after high school.  

Darren: 我小时候住在农村，当地只有一所学校，别无选择。那是个不错的学校，但是城里就不一样了。

I grew up in the country where there was only one school. It was a good school, but things are different in the city.

 

Annie Deng: 我以为无论公校还是私校，都存在好学生差学生，好老师差老师。I thought there were good and bad kids and good and bad teachers in both public and private schools.

Darren: 不是这样的。我之前在几个学校里工作过。实际上，私校里面基本上差生非常少。

No. I’ve worked in some schools. They sort of weed out the bad kids in private schools.

 

Annie Deng: 你怎么看待大家觉得私校的学生会比较势力这个话题？ What do you think about private kids being considered a bit snobbish?

Darren: 这种现象只存在于少数学校，比如Caulfield Grammar或者Melbourne Grammar。一些非常昂贵的学校，比如Xavier。

Only if you go somewhere like Caulfield Grammar or Melbourne Grammar. The really expensive ones, like Xavier.

 

Annie Deng: 我从没想象过小学就开始这么重要。I never thought primary was that serious.

Darren: 他们如果有个好的开始，以后就会容易许多。如果他们在公立学校有个不太好的开始，而后转到私校，还是会有一定影响的。他们会花时间去追赶其他同学的水平。幼儿园至一年级，学习认字阅读。从二年级开始他们通过阅读来学习新的知识。如果二年级以前他们还没有完全掌握阅读能力，就会影响以后的学习，就会一直处于追赶其他人的状态。

If they get that good start, then… If they went to a public school and got a bad start and then go to a private school, they’ve still got that bad start. They’ve got to catch up. From Kindergarten to Year 1, they’re learning to read. From Year 2 onwards, they’re reading to learn. If they haven’t learned how to read properly by Year 2, they’re gonna have problems and they’re always going to be catching up.

 

Annie Deng: 私校需要很早开始吗？With private, you have to start really early?

Darren: 是的，最好从幼儿园或者学前班就开始。我们从孩子们一岁开始物色学校的。You have to start with Kindergarten, or Prep.  

We started looking when they were one.

 

Annie Deng: 你认为私立幼儿园和公立幼儿园的区别大吗？Do you think private kindergarten makes that much of a difference?

Darren: 说实话区别不是很大。我其中一个儿子幼儿园班上有个很爱捣乱的小朋友，老大因此错过了很多东西。幼儿园会叫孩子一些东西，让孩子们有组织的玩耍。

No, not kinder. One did have a disruptive kid in his class which the teachers… the older one missed out on a lot of stuff. They still do teaching. Structured play. Most Childcare has no structure.

 

Annie Deng: 幼儿园和托儿所的幼儿园一样吗？Are kindergartens the same as the kindergartens in childcare?

Darren: 有些托儿所有拥有幼教资格的老师。但是有些失业的教师由于经济的原因去childcare centre工作，因为工资待遇好。

Some child carers have proper teachers. Some teachers are unemployed and they’ll do any job they can so they’ll go work for a childcare centre, better paid.

 

Annie Deng: 给孩子报名私立小学的过程是怎样的？How does registering work?

Darren: 在孩子一岁的时候就要开始着手报名学校的事。到了入园的年纪学校会根据报名的先后顺序进行排队。当我家老大五岁时，他在排队的名册里排队相对靠前，所以会被优先录取。

You put your name down when they’re one years old. When it comes to the time, because you’ve got your name down, you’re first pick because there’s a limited number of places in kindergartens. When we got to him being five years old, he wasn’t way down the list, he was at the top of the list.

 

Annie Deng: 私立教育的确很受欢迎，但是不是有不少私立学校可供选择呢？They’re popular, but there’s quite a lot of private schools?

Darren: 的确是的。但是如果你想去Knox这样的顶级私立学校，基本上孩子一出生就需要报名了。

Yeah, but if you want to go somewhere like Knox Private, I think you’re down as soon as you’re born.

 

Annie Deng: 选学校都需要做哪些调查呢？What kind of research did you do?

Darren: 我们看过几所学校，Knox, Yarrow Valley, 还有另外一个基督教学校。在五个学校给孩子报名，光是报名费就花了700元。因为这些学校实在太火了。

We looked at Knox, we looked at Yarrow Valley, we looked at another Christian school. We even put our names down for about five different schools and you have to pay a fee to say you’re on the list. We paid about $700 for our kids just to be in the list. They’re that popular.

 

Annie Deng: 所以你到附近所有的私立学校去考察了？So did you just look at all the private schools near home?

Darren: 每年会有一本介绍所有私立学校的杂志，学校的联系方式上面都找的到，而且是免费的。

There’s a book that comes out every year that has all the private schools. It has all their contacts on it. I think it’s free. It’s like a magazine you can get.

 

Annie Deng: 挑选学校还经历了什么过程？What process did you go through to pick schools?

Darren: 我们去Waverly参加了面试。

We went for an interview at Waverly.

 

Annie Deng: 你为什么给孩子选择现在的学校而不是其它学校？What did you like about the school you chose and the ones you didn’t?

Darren: 在我们参观Waverly的时候，一个孩子不小心撞到了我。他马上跟我说“对不起”。即便他知道我不是学校的老师，但仍然对我表现出足够的尊重。我们在校园里基本没看见孩子乱跑乱闹的现象。这些学校给我留下的印象差不多，但是都没有基督教教义。我曾经在Caulfield Grammar工作的时候，一个家长告诉我他们的孩子不适合这个学校。原因是他会给整个学校的成绩拖后腿。学校告诉这个孩子“不要再来了。”他并没有不及格，只不过他的成绩都是B和C而已。

When we went to Waverly, a kid bumped into me and said, ‘oh, I’m sorry sir’. He was being respectful, even though he knew I wasn’t a teacher. We didn’t see kids running around and doing stupid stuff. I suppose in the end, they had a similar vibe and feel, but they didn’t have the Christian ethos. I worked in Caulfield Grammar, and I had parents told their kid didn’t fit in there. The only reason he didn’t fit in was because he was going to bring down their score in the year, academically. They said to him, ‘don’t come back’. He was passing, he was getting C’s and B’s.

 

Annie Deng: 你需要是教会成员才可以上教会学校吗？Do you have to be a Church member?

Darren: 不是的。我们上的这所学校要求遵守基督教教义，每周日去教堂礼拜，但是没人检查这些。

No. When we went there, they said you have to have a Christian ethos, go to Church every Sunday but they never asked to see it.

 

Annie Deng: 你喜欢这所学校吗？Do you like that school?

Darren: 嗯，这个学校不错。Yeah, it’s good.

 

Annie Deng: 为什么选择基督教学校？Why did you pick the Christian school?

Darren: 我们从来没有听到关于基督教学校的负面评价。周围认识的人对这类学校评价都还不错。尽管学校的学术水平并不是最高的，但这类学校普遍都不错，有很好的教义。

Never heard a bad word about it. Everybody we know who talked about it has put it in a good light. It’s not the highest academic, but it’s always there. They have a really good ethos.

 

Annie Deng: 学校里有宗教课么？Do they teach religion?

Darren: 基本上有的。我们的孩子周日都去教堂礼拜。我喜欢去教堂，对我来说这是个非常好的反思时间，即便你没有在思考上帝。回想一下这一周都完成了什么。有时候我们的部长会作出与神无关的讲道。 你认为通过花更多的时间和朋友在一起，使自己成为一个更好的人。They sort of do. Our kids go to Church every sunday anyway. I like going to Church. It’s good reflection time, even if you aren’t thinking about God. It’s good to think about your week. Sometimes our minister will give a sermon which has nothing to do with God. You think you can be a better person by spending more time with friends.

There are other wacko churches.

 

Annie Deng: 你的孩子们相信上帝吗？Do your kids believe in god ?

Darren: 是的，他们相信上帝。他们理解在我们之上有更伟大的力量。这对他们来说是件好事。孩子们会明白他们自己不是一切，不是所有的事物都要以他们为中心。

Yeah, they believe. They understand that there’s something bigger than just us. That’s a good thing to have. If kids know that they aren’t everything, they aren’t the big picture…

 

Annie Deng: 你觉得你个人的宗教信仰对家长这个身份有什么影响？How do you think your belief affects your parenting?

Darren: 宗教使我变得更加宽容。我见过有的人，特别以自我为中心，他们不懂得宽容，时时处于愤怒的状态。这就是在学校和工作之外还有重心的好处。

It makes me a bit more forgiving. When they do things. I’ve seen people who, when it’s all about them, they don’t forgive, they’re always angry. It’s good to have a focus outside of business and school.

 

Annie Deng: 宗教给你和你的家庭带来了什么？What does religion bring to you and your family?

Darren: 平静。还有让我知道人走以后还有一些其他的东西，你并不是仅仅离开了这个世界。Peace. And the knowledge that there is something else after. You’re not just gone.

 

Annie Deng: 你认为自己是个好父亲吗？Would you call yourself a good parent?

Darren: 有的时候是。我也有情绪化的时候，一般我会深呼吸几次，然后出去跑个步。我打过我儿子，一两次。那天正在开车途中，我儿子突然把车门打开了，我转身打了他。但是如果我不打他的话，他肯定会犯更严重的错误。有的时候，如果你不告诉他们事情的后果，他们就没有界限的犯错。现在他们明白了，如果在开车的途中再打开车门试图下车，后果就是挨打。他们明白后果，但时常会忘记。

Sometimes. I have my moments. Moments where I have to take a deep breath, go for a run. I have given them a smack once or twice. The other day we were driving along, and one opened the door as we were driving, so I turned around and gave him a smack. But if I didn’t and he did do that, he’d be all over the road. If you don’t give them any consequences, they’ll just do whatever they want. So they know now that if they try and get out of the car while driving, they’re going to get a smack. That’s a consequence.

They know the consequence, but sometimes they forget.

 

Annie Deng: 作为一个前资深幼教老师和有着2个在私校读小学的父亲，在为孩子挑选学校的时候你有什么建议提供给其他家长？Previously being a kindergarten teacher, what should parents know when they look for schools?

Darren: 可以看一下教学大纲，以及将要用的教材。可以通过观察书架上的书籍有个初步感觉。如果你看到的书基本上差不多都已经用过三四年以上，那么你会知道他们的资金并不多。一般，私立学校意味着资金充裕。如果你跟老师接触的时候聊的非常好，他们愿意聊天问问题的话，都是加分。如果你去参加面试，然而面试的公司不问你任何问题，你会开始怀疑“他们对我肯定不感兴趣”。积极的态度应当表现为老师问你有关孩子的问题。比如你家孩子性格什么样的，喜欢做什么之类。

Just an outline of what we’re going to be teaching them, what materials are going to be in them. You can usually get a sense from what teachers have on their bookshelves. You can go to a kindergarten and they have three year old books, or four year old books. They’re older, you know they don’t get funding. If you go private, it means they all get funding. If you get along with the teacher. If you see that the kindergarten teacher is caring and asks questions. When you go for a job interview and they never ask you any questions, you ask yourself, ‘they’re not interested in me’. The teacher should be asking you questions about the kid, what kind of kid they are, what they enjoy doing.

 

Annie Deng: 就好像去参加面试一样是不是 Is it like an interview you go to?

Darren: 更多的是家长面试学校，而不是学校面试家长。

No, it’s more of an interview for them. Taking a school for kindergarten is less them interviewing you as you interviewing them.

 

Annie Deng: 有些学校倾向选择双方家长一样付出是不是？Some schools prefer equal contributions from both parents.

Darren: 这很公平合理。幼儿园社区是一个学校社区，意味着双方家长都必须参与其中。 Waverly学校要求每年，学生的一位家长必须在学校做一个工作日。 你也可以交100元代替去学校工作。但这样的话表示你不愿意参与学校工作。

 

That’s fair enough. The community of kindergarten is a school community which means both parents have to be involved. Just go to the kids’ productions. At Waverly every year, one parent has to do a working day at school. If you pay $100 they don’t have to do it, but you do it to show camaraderie. The parents who pay are just not involved in the school.

 

Annie Deng: 你想自己的孩子们长大以后成为什么样子的人？What do you want your kids to grow up to be?

Darren: 其中一个儿子想做护士，兽医之类的。另一个想要当演员，警察。说实话，他们想做的每周都有变化，我真的不关心。只要他们做他们想做的事情，不是被迫去做一些自己不喜欢的事情就好。如果有一天我儿子跟我说“爸爸我想要成为一个机修工。”我会回答他“很好，快去把我的车修好。”

One wants to be a nurse or a veterinarian. One wants to be an actor, or a policeman, or something else. Every week it changes. To be honest, I don’t care. As long as they do something they want to do and don’t end up doing something they don’t want to do. If one of them said to me, ‘I want to be a mechanic’, I’d say, ‘cool, go and fix my car’.

 

Annie Deng: 我感觉你的教育方式挺简单的，你不期望孩子们取得所谓的成功。It looks like you’re really simple. You don’t care too much about them being successful.

Darren: 我希望他们能接触到所有的机会进行选择。我希望他们接受良好的教育，但我不认为教育是你将要成为的全部，最终的一切。

I want them to have good opportunities. I want them to get the best education they can, but I don’t see education as the be-all and end-all of what you’re gonna be.

 

Annie Deng: 他们可以自己选择将来的路？So they have a choice?

Darren: 我的孩子们将来愿意读大学的话，非常好。不然的话，如果他们想要去农场里工作，也没什么不可以的。

If they want to go to university, that’s cool. But if they also want to go work on a farm, that’s okay.

 

Annie Deng: 有没有某些时候你感觉自己是个特别棒的父母？Tell me about a time when you feel like you’re a really good parent.

Darren: 从来没有过，哈哈！大概是每天结束前他们跑过来告诉我他们有多爱我的时候把。或者出其不意的，他们跑过来给我一个大大的拥抱。那个时候我会感觉自己是个很棒的父母。如果你觉得给孩子物质化的东西或者给他们买很多东西就算是好父母的话，那就错了。当他们出乎意料的做某些事，并且告诉你他们很爱你。这才是更大的奖赏。

Never, haha! Probably at the end of the day when they tell you they love you. Or when it’s out of nowhere. They run up and give you a hug. That’s when you feel like you’re being a good parent. I think if you think that material things and giving them stuff is being a good parent, that’s wrong. When they do something you don’t expect, it’s good, and they tell you how much they care about you. That’s a bigger reward.

 

Annie Deng: 你作为父亲最自豪的时刻？What’s your proudest moment as a dad?

Darren: 当看到我儿子上台表演的时候。那次他们去一个大学里面参加演出，我看到他在舞台上开心的笑，和他的朋友们一起。看到儿子和朋友们快乐是我最自豪的时候。

Seeing one of my sons up on stage in a little performance. We went to one of the universities, and he was up on stage and just smiling. He was just happy, happy with all his friends. Seeing him happy with all his friends.

 

Annie Deng: 孩子们最喜欢的一道菜是什么？What’s your children’s favourite dish?

Darren: 其中一个喜欢吃鸡肉意粉，讨厌肌肉但是喜欢吃鸡肉意粉。鸡肉切丁，配上西兰花，白酱或是奶油酱。他还特别喜欢吃虾。

One like chicken pasta. Hates chicken but likes chicken pasta. Chicken cut up with broccoli in pasta. White sauce. Cream sauce. He also likes prawns, love prawns.

 

Annie Deng: 你刚才说到孩子们喜欢玩乐高玩具，还喜欢什么？You mentioned earlier that your two boys like Lego. What else do they like?

Darren: 涂色。尽管他们已经7，8岁了，可是还非常喜欢涂色。他们会让我打印出来一些图案，然后拿回家给他们涂色，比如蝙蝠侠的图案。

Colouring. I don’t know why. Even though they’re seven or eight, they still love colouring. They love me to go and print them out some picture for them to colour in. Batman

 

Annie Deng: 你自己平常会做什么事情来放松自己呢？What do you do to recharge?

Darren: 出去跑个步或者开车兜一圈。我每周跑步三次，但是我不喜欢去健身房。不喜欢大家在健身房里面秀肌肉。我更喜欢去外面跑步，打打高尔夫。

Go for a run or a ride. I run three times a week. Don’t like gyms, it’s a toxic place people go to show off their muscles. Whereas they could go for a run or go for a walk, get some fresh air. I like to play golf.

 

Annie Deng: 所以你很健壮？So you’re really fit?

Darren: 其实可以更好一些。我年轻的时候参加赛车比赛，现在不去了，因为太危险。曾经有一次训练的时候，我的车钻到前面一辆大卡车下面去了。

Could be fitter. But I’m getting there. I used to race when I was younger. I stopped because it was too dangerous. When I was younger and I was training, I went underneath a truck as it was coming back, under the wheels.

 

Annie Deng: 你会骑赛道吗？Could you go on tracks?

Darren: 不，因为公路自行车的车轮真的很窄，你最终会穿刺他们。 墨尔本的轨道不够长。 而且有很多泥土轨道，你不能在上面骑自行车。

No, because the road bikes have really narrow wheels and you end up puncturing them. The tracks aren’t long enough here in Melbourne. There’s a lot of dirt tracks and you can’t ride your own bikes on them.

 

Annie Deng: 你最喜欢跟孩子们做什么？What do you enjoy most with your children?

Darren: 我们一起做任何事情，看搞笑的电影然后看他们笑。我的一个儿子特别爱笑，他会在夜里醒来的时候大笑。有一天晚上他甚至笑着睡着觉。

Just doing stuff. Seeing them laugh. Watching a silly movie or anything which makes them laugh. One of my sons has got an infectious laugh. He’ll wake up in the middle of the night making himself laugh. One night, he was asleep and he was just laughing.

 

Annie Deng: 你说你来自于一个有七个兄弟姐妹的大家庭，那你的童年是什么样子的？You said you were a family of seven. What was your family like when you were little?

Darren: 我的父亲经常陪着我们，带我们去不同的地方参加体育运动。在我生长的地方，体育是个很重要的活动。父亲去工作，母亲照料我们的饮食。母亲更喜欢在家里照顾我们，而不是出去工作。有的时候她会去学校食堂里工作。她很享受这样的工作，但是仅此而已。

My dad was always doing stuff for us. Taking us from place to place to play sport. Sport was a big thing in a country town. We were always playing sport and he was always playing sport with us. Dad would work, come home, and mum would be there ready with dinner. Mum was happy doing that, she didn’t want to work. Once or twice, she went to school to do the canteen tuck shop. She was happy doing that, she didn’t want anything else.

 

Annie Deng: 你的理想生活是什么样子的？What would be your ideal life?

Darren: 如果不为钱担忧的话，我梦想在农场里生活，去Yarra Valley那样地方，养一群羊或牛。给无家可归的人种菜。 如果你给他们钱的话，他们就会想要更多的钱。但是如果你给他们食物，他们满足了物质需求以后会想要去做别的事情。

我曾经有过年薪18万元的工作，但我并不喜欢，因为总是为别人打工。我要一直处于待命状态，这让我压力非常大。但是自己创业以后情况就不一样了，我的软件好像是我的宝贝，没有别人帮忙，全都是属于我自己的。

I would be on a farm. Out in Yarra Valley. Sheep or cattle. Growing vegetables for homeless people. If I didn’t have to worry about making money. I don’t want to make millions and millions. You can give money, and they’ll just want more money. If you give them food, they’ll eat it and they’ve got enough sustenance to go on and do something else.

I mean, I had a job of $180,000 a year. I didn’t like it because I was doing it for someone else. I was always on-call, I was always stressed. Whereas the software I build is my baby. No-one else’s help, it’s all mine.

 

Annie Deng: 你是如何平衡工作和个人生活的？How do you keep a work-life balance?

Darren: 我曾经在家工作，而且经常晚上回到办公室工作。现在我回家以后，基本上除了接一个有关工作的电话，回一封邮件，不会花更长时间在工作上。我的客户们都知道我朝九晚五，除了这个时间以外不处理工作相关的事情。但如果是非常紧急的情况，我肯定会处理一下。客户们非常理解，他们通常会说“我们不期待你现在就处理问题。”我喜欢读书，平常不工作的时候我会读读书。

Now I’m having the opposite. I used to work from home and going out at night to work. Now when I come home, I’ll answer a phone call, or answer an email, but I won’t spend hours doing work. All my clients know it’s 9-5, but if they can’t access it at all… If it is super urgent and I do something about it, they’ll reply saying, ‘we didn’t expect anything to be done’. They’re really happy. But if it’s all the time…

I love reading. And it’s books away from work, so it’s not reading books to learn more. It’s more just to read.

 

Annie Deng: 你和你的太太如何分配父母的角色？How do you share your parenting role with your wife?

Darren: 我主要负责工作，我太太负责照顾孩子们。

I’m at work, she does most parenting.

 

Annie Deng: 分享一下你的育儿经验！What tips would you share with other parents?

Darren: 遇事不要急躁。生活中会发生一些这样那样的小状况，别因此而紧张。

Don’t sweat the bullsh*t Let it go. Sh*t happens. Don’t stress about it.

 

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