澳大利亚4娃“虎妈” 畅谈如何养育4学霸女儿
Melbourne Real Estate Expert’s Parenting Story
How Jane Raises 4 High Achieving Daughters
澳洲育儿故事主人公简介：Jane Chodziesner
Jane Chodziesner, 澳大利亚当地出名的房地产公司 Harcourts Wantirna分公司业务经理，房产投资者，是四个极其优秀女儿的妈妈，Jane自嘲对孩子过于严厉，但言语间全是对4个孩子无私的奉献和自豪之情。“现在我个人不重要，重要的是孩子们。我希望能尽我所能为她们创造一个最好的环境。当她们独立之后，我再开始我自己的生活。” “It’s not my life at the moment, it’s my children’s life. I just want what’s best for them. Once they’re independent, I’ll take back my life.” Jane对女儿们的学习，生活，兴趣爱好如数家珍。即使过了近10年，Jane还清楚的记得大女儿的高考成绩。在采访过程中，时刻可以感受到，Jane对女儿的关注，以及对女儿取得的成就的自豪。
Based at Harcourts Wantirna office, Business Development Manager, property investor Jane Chodziesner consistently deliver exceptional results for all her clients. “I believe in building strong relationships and always going that extra mile,”
工作中Jane总能不断超越客户的期待，为客户赢得最佳交易结果。她说，“我很注重客户关系，比别人更愿意付出。” Jane是Wantirna当地的房产专家，对本地了如指掌。Jane在那里住了23年了，对Glen Waverly一直到Ferntree Gully这片区都非常熟悉。她在社区里非常活跃，尤其是有了四个女儿之后，很多活动都是在社区里的，学校，空手道学校，无挡板篮球协会，人脉很广。
采访人：Annie Deng – 安妮·邓
Annie Deng 安妮·邓，澳洲顶级营销战略家, 高级翻译, 澳洲通, 中澳混血妈妈，移民澳大利亚十多年，现任澳洲投资房贷 Mortgage Corp市场总监。Annie采访来自各行各业的澳大利亚西人父母，从普普通通的清洁工，老师，工程师到赫赫有名的公司老总及澳洲政府官员, 通过精彩动人，富有感染力的澳洲育儿故事为中国和世界介绍展示澳洲淳朴的风土人情，丰富多彩的生活及澳洲经商之道。让广大华人客观全面了解澳大利亚教育，礼仪，生活，风光，商务及生意经。
Join Annie Deng, a top marketing strategist and storyteller as she brings your story to life to educate the Chinese people about Australia and raise your business profile within the Chinese community.
Thanks to Annie’s big network of highly influential people both here in Australia and in China, including influencers with millions of followers, your parenting story and business will get the opportunity to be exposed to millions of Chinese shoppers who are eager to open their wallet for quality Aussie products and services.
Book an interview with Annie today today and have your business promoted to millions of Chinese people without pushy sales techniques or faceless selling.
采访花絮：
跟中国父母望子成龙望女成凤相反，很多澳洲父母对生活对孩子相对随意，虽然也会尽力为孩子提供一个好的环境，但普遍很尊重孩子的选择， 学习什么专业，从事什么职业，兴趣最重要，开心就好。
相比起来，今天采访的4娃妈Jane更像一个中国妈妈，确切的说是个“虎妈”。Jane在为培育四个杰出女儿的付出也和中国母亲的无私奉献很相似：她认为，作为母亲，她要竭尽全力为孩子提供良好的成长环境，并帮助孩子实现她们的梦想。
Jane 有4 个女儿，都上私校，一个孩子一年学费27,000澳币，4个孩子，加起来共27年，光学费都是729,000澳币。难怪她对孩子学习抓的很紧，周日也要在家学习。Jane还包揽4个孩子的一切开销，包括两个成年女儿，不要求她们付房租，做家务。（注：澳洲孩子一般在18岁后就会搬出家，自己租房住。不过近年来物价房价飞涨，越来越多的孩子成年后还跟父母住在一起，大多父母一般都会要求孩子付房租，帮忙做家务或者承担家务的费用。）
Jane 的4个女儿： Emily, Jordyn, Anna & Sophie
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Emily，26岁，Jane的长女。聪慧，商科高材生，会计，市场营销及人力资源管理三学士，曾在伦敦旅游生活过2年。现从事自己的梦想职业：澳大利亚巨头百货连锁公司Kmart玩具买手助理，希望在公司一步一步往上爬。性格内向，朋友不多，典型的宅女。业余爱好：划船运动，维州女子无挡板篮球州队队员。 Emily, she’s 26. She studied commerce and triple majored in accounting, marketing and HR. She’s travelled and lived in London for two years。 She’s got her dream job, at Kmart. She started as an assistant toy buyer, and she wants to work her way up to the top of the company. She loves it. Emily is a complete introvert, homebound. Doesn’t have many friends. Intelligent. |
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Jordyn，22岁，Jane的次女。才华横溢，目标远大。金发碧眼，性格极其外向开朗，朋友超多，非常独立。高中奖学金得主，澳大利亚维州高考获得 95.1高分。现在澳洲名牌大学墨尔本大学学习兽医专业，爱动物，拥有自己的一个宠物美容连锁店，应邀请将在圣诞期间去越南学习，明年到上海学习6个月。中文流利。 周末在房地产公司Harcourts做前台接待，兼职平面模特。维州女子无挡板篮球州队队员。 My second daughter is Jordyn, she’s a multitalented girl. She is studying vet science at Melbourne Uni. She’s an animal girl. She’s 22. She also owns a dog washing franchise. She also works at Harcourts on the weekend. She’s our weekend receptionist. She’s got goals and she’s saving to have a good life. Jordyn also speaks Chinese, she’s learnt Chinese at school. She went to a different school than Caulfield though, she went to Lauriston Girls’ School on a scholarship. With her vet science, she’s just been offered a place to go to Vietnam over the Christmas-New Year period to study a subject and in the second half of next year she’s going to China to live there for 6 months in Shanghai. Jordyn plays high-level netball. Jordyn is completely extroverted. Has 200 million friends. Everything is big and grand. Jordyn models. She’s a complete package of everything. Jordyn does TV commercials |
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Anna，14岁，Jane的第三个女儿。 墨尔本顶尖私校Caulfield Grammer 9年级学生（相当于中国的初中三年级）成绩优异（A+）。兼职时装模特，性格内向，恋家，维州高级女子无挡板篮球州队队员，喜欢打触身式橄榄球，很有语言天赋， 热爱中国文化，中文流利。 My third daughter is Anna, who’s 14. She’s Year 9 at Caulfield Grammar. Anna’s an A+ student。She plays high-level netball as well. Very high-level. She’s huge in netball. Very academic as well. She also plays touch football. Anna does more fashion, catwalk. Anna’s introverted. 我的二女儿和三女儿比较像。她们都很擅长运动，而且人也很聪明。她们还都是时尚模特，拍过电视和平面广告。Sophie也做过模特，拍过电视广告。Emily和Anna的长相和行事作风很相似。而Jordyn和Sophie都是金发碧眼，非常外向的女孩子，朋友遍布世界的那种。 The two middle ones are. They’re sporty, intelligent… They both fashion model, pictures on TV ads. Sophie does as well, she’s just done a TV commercial too. Emily and Anna look similar and act similar. And 2 and 4 are completely extroverted. 50 million friends. Both blonde. Out there. |
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Sophie，13岁，Jane的小女儿。Caulfield Grammer 7年级学生（相当于中国的初中一年级）。很有艺术细胞，钢琴7级。外向，喜欢舞蹈，技巧体操，兼职电视广告模特。 Daughter four is Sophie, who is 13 and in Year 7 at Caulfield Grammar. Sophie’s very arty. She’s Grade 7 piano. She dances, whereas the other three are very sporty. She does acrobatics and TV commercials。 |
Jane的育儿故事采访记录
Jane’s Parenting Story Interview Transcript
Annie Deng: 养育四个如此优秀的女孩子可不是件容易的事情，你是怎么做到的？Wow, four daughters and they sound so amazing! How did you do it?
Jane: 是挺不容易的，不过我生三女儿时，大女儿和二女儿已经比较大了。 我和我的丈夫本来准备再要一个孩子，结果连着生了两个, 不过我们一点都不后悔。忙是忙，但我完全没有放弃事业，一直都工作着的。我和丈夫在家庭里投入了很大精力，也有请保姆帮忙照顾孩子。我们觉得当父母将孩子带到世上，就不再是你的生活而是 孩子的生活，父母应该努力工作竭力为孩子提供一个好的环境。我们对孩子很严厉，她们也很懂事。我们希望她们能健康快乐，更重要的是，我们希望她们能经济独立。我们希望她们有好的教育，这样无论将来如何，她们可以自食其力。
It’s very much a challenge, but we’ve got a big gap between the two older ones. My husband wanted one more and we ended up with two more. I would never have it any differently. Yes, we’re busy, I have basically worked my whole way through all the children and had nannies to help look after them. But with four children, my husband and I believe that when you bring children into the world, it’s their life, not your life anymore. So you work hard to give them the best start in life you possibly can. We’ve been very strict with them and they’re good girls but some of the ground rules with them were that we want them to be healthy, we want them to be happy, but most importantly with the girls is we want them to be financially independent. They all need to have a great start in life, which was a great education so that they can always know that no matter situation they’re in, they’re financially independent.
Annie Deng : 你对孩子要求很严格，都有些什么样的规矩呢？What kind of rules have you got?
Jane: 我在两个大女儿11和12年级（相当于中国的高二，高三）的时候对她们管的比较严。她们可以多花时间去运动。但每周只有一次出去社交的机会。所以如果她们一周有两三次参加同学生日聚会的邀请，她们就要选择一个。她们说我是最严厉的妈妈，但我会说“你们将来会感谢我的”。我之前说过，Emily高考考了91.5分（最高分99分）。Jordyn考了95.1的高分。Anna现在每门功课都拿A+。Sophie还不知道会怎样，她还太小。
I had strict rules for the older ones in Year 11 and Year 12, they could do as much sport as they wanted to. But when it came to their social life, they were only ever allowed to go out one night a week. So if they had two or three 18th birthday parties, they had to pick one. They told me that I was the meanest mum, and I said to them ‘you’ll thank me one day’. As I say, Emily got a score of 91.5 and the highest you can get is 99. Jordyn got an Entry Score of 95.1. Anna’s an A+ student already and we are yet to work out Sophie, she’s still very young.
Annie Deng : 你为什么让她们每周只能选择一项社交活动呢？You asked them to choose one social event, Why?
在澳洲，11，12年级（相当中国高二高三）是中学最重要的两年。这个阶段决定你的高考成绩，从而决定你能进入哪个大学。以我女儿们的高考分数，她们可以做任何她们想做的事情，进一个好大学，做自己喜欢的事。所以11和12年级我对她们要求最严。社交活动可以是和朋友看电影，参加朋友的成人礼，生日派对，以及和朋友出去喝咖啡聊天等等。她们可以自己选择去干什么，但是每周只能出去一次。但是，我不会限制她们运动的时间。我的女儿们都很喜欢运动。周五晚上她们也可能会出去运动，周六和朋友出去玩，而周日她们会在家里或者图书馆学习。大部分情况下，她们都是在家里，自己的房间里学习。Emily在11，12年级还会划船。每周她有五个早上都会早起去健身房锻炼，或者去Yarra河里划船。晚上，她通常会在学校或者家里学习。
Year 11 and 12 are the two most important years in Australia studying. That’s what is going to give them their entry score to get into University. With their entry score, they can do anything, get into university and do anything with their life. In Year 11 and 12 I become really strict with them. The social event might be a Sunday night going to the movies with their friends, an 18th birthday party, someone’s birthday party, meeting people and going out for coffee, it could be anything that they want to do but it can only be one thing per week. They can do as much sport as they want. My children are sporty. Friday night they might have sport, Saturday they have a social function and Sunday they study all day at home, or they may go to the library but most of them study at home, they’ve all got their own desks set up in their rooms. Emily, rowed in Year 11 and 12. 5 out of 7 mornings a week she had to go and do gym exercises or she went down to the Yarra River to row. In the evenings she would go to school, come home and study.
Annie Deng : 她们11年级以前的生活是什么样子的？What kind of life did they live until Year 11?
Jane: 仍然热爱运动。她们可能会有两到三个聚会要参加，或者看电影…….那个时候我不会对她们管的很紧。只要周一到周五认真学习就好了。到了周五晚上，周六或周日下午，如果她们想要出去，我会同意的。我会说“尽可能享受你们现在的生活，11年级以后就不一样了”。
Still very sporty. They may have had two or three parties to attend, or see movies… I wasn’t as strict. I still made them study Monday to Friday. But come Friday night, Saturday or Sunday afternoon, if they wanted to go out, I would let them, I’d say ‘make the most of this because it’s going to change’.
Annie Deng : 11年级以前，孩子们可以出去玩，但是11年级以后，一切都变了，她们需要缩减社交时间。你是怎么和她们沟通的？Before year 11, the kids could hang out with friends, but all of a sudden when they go to year 11, they are not allowed any more. how did you tell them?
Jane: 我会提前告诉她们。让她们有心理准备：11年级以后，生活会有改变。我给她们解释高中最后两年的重要性。如果她们不努力学习，尽可能考到好的分数进入好的大学，那么，她们需要重新去思考她们未来要走的路。如果她们对我说我将来想当个理发师。当理发师当然没问题，但她们需要明白，当理发师和当宠物医生的生活质量是完全不一样的。如果她们觉得当理发师更开心，我当然会尊重她们的选择。但是最重要的是，我希望她们不要幻想英俊富有的王子会骑着白马来到身边娶你，让你衣食无忧，从此就过上幸福快乐的生活。然后突然一天，王子要求离婚，你一无所有。这样的事我是见过的。我并不是说这有什么不好。但是对我的孩子们，我希望为她们在人生路，在纪律、道德方面做最好的铺垫，希望她们能够明白这些道理并传给她们下一代及身边的人。
I just pre-warned them. I prepare them that things will change. I explain the importance of the final two years of their schooling. If they don’t work hard and get the best possible mark they can get or do the best possible they can possibly do, then they need to rethink what they’re going to do with their life. If one of them came to me and said ‘I want to be a hairdresser’, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a hairdresser but they need to understand that being a vet versus being a hairdresser, you’re not going to live the lifestyle that the other one is going to live. That’s no big deal, you can be happy and what have you, but my biggest thing to be honest with you is that I don’t want them to think that Prince Charming is gonna come along who’s wealthy and rich and they’re going to marry him and live happily ever after. Too often in this day and age and in this culture, it’s easy to get married and get divorced. It’s far too easy. I don’t want them to think that Prince Charming is going to come along, they’re going to marry him, he’s gonna supply them with money for the rest of their lives and then suddenly a divorce happens and they’re left without a pension or something like that. It happens, I know it happens and I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, but my children, giving them the best start in life and being strict, setting morals and things like that is hopefully going to pass onto them and onto their children and the people around them.
Annie Deng : 她们周日也需要学习吗？你会在周日设定特别的要求吗？What do they study on Sundays? Do you give them something in particular?
Jane: 不，她们可以学习任何她们认为需要学习的东西。如果她们没有家庭作业，她们就复习她们这周学到的知识。No, they’ve got to study whatever they’re learning. If they’ve got no homework, they’ve got to revisit what they’ve studied within the week.
Annie Deng : 你如何监督孩子们学习呢？And how do you monitor that?
Jane: 尽管她们卧室里有书桌，但她们通常会坐在餐桌前学习，我可以看到她们 。有时会会用知识卡片来抽查。她们在卡片上写知识点，我会检查她们写的卡片。她们在准备小测验和考试。如何监督？她们的成绩单和学校报告会说明一切的:-)。Even though they’ve got desks in their bedrooms, most of them sit around the kitchen table. I can see them writing. One of the ways they do it is they’ve got flashcards. They write on them and I can see them. They’re preparation for tests and exams. How do I monitor it, When I get the school reports and exams.
Annie Deng : 朋友和同学在周日都出去玩的时候，你是怎么保证她们能专注的学习的？How do they cope when you prevent them from socialising while their friends are out and about?
Jane: 我一直强调周日学习，对她们来讲这早就已经称为一个习惯了。 不过，如果朋友来找她们学习，她们可以一起在家里或者图书馆学习。她们只是一定要学习，但不必须在家里。她们可以和朋友去图书馆一起学习。这是我的原则，当我在Emily上学立这个规矩时，Emily认为我是个坏妈妈但是轮到Jordyn时，她早就知道了这个规矩，抗议是没用的。
I’ve instilled within their mind that that’s what they do. Don’t get me wrong, if they want to have a friend come study. They can have a friend come study. Or they can go to the library with a friend to study, but they have to study. That’s all there is to it. That’s just my rule and when I first did it with Emily, I was a horrible mum and I was this and that and what have you, but by the time it came to Jordyn, she just knew that was the rules. There’s no use in arguing with me because they were never going to win.
Annie Deng : 当她们不能去聚会的时候，她们的反应是什么样的？So when they can’t go to a party, how do they respond?
Jane: 她们会赌气，说一些难听的话，甚至会诅咒我。现在孩子们大了特别是两个大女儿已经进入社会理解我和她们爸爸当初的苦心，她们很尊敬我们，也非常感谢我们为她们付出的一切。
They call me every name under the sun. They’ll even swear at me. They would all say they’ve got the utmost respect for me and what my husband and I have done for them. Especially the two older ones. They know now because they’re in the real world.
当她们长大甚至成为父母的时候，她们会理解我的做法。When they’re older and they become a parent, they’ll realise…
我以前也不太尊重我自己的妈妈，因为我妈妈当初对我跟我现在对我的女儿们一样严格。但是当我有了Emily之后，我就理解她的苦心了 。随着时间流逝，我慢慢理解我母亲规矩及当时她为什么会设立那些规矩。我开始同样要求我的孩子，同时更加尊重我的父母。我的父母给了我最好的教育。跟我女儿们一样，我也是我妈妈四个孩子中的一个。
I didn’t have the best respect for my mum because she treated me exactly the same way I treat my children. But the minute I had Emily, things changed. As the years have gone on, I’ve realised why she put ground rules in and why her rules were her rules, and I’ve done it with my children and I respect my parents. My parents have given me the most amazing upbringing. I’m like my children, I’m one of four.
Annie Deng: 所以你的妈妈对你也很严厉，你过去不喜欢那样？So your mum was very strict and you didn’t like it?
Jane: 是的，我的父母都非常严格。而我丈夫的父母对孩子没那么严。偶尔，当孩子们知道我不会答应她们的要求时，她们就会去找我的丈夫。他每周都要出差，比如这周他就在悉尼出差。他每周四晚上回来，周一早上5点钟离开。因为他常常不在家，所以他会对孩子感到有点愧疚。
Yep, but my parents were very strict. Whereas my husband’s not as strict… My children, on the odd occasion, if they know I’m going to say no to something, they’ll go to my husband. He travels every week. He’s away at the moment, he’s in Sydney this week. He comes home on a Thursday evening, leaves at 5 o’clock on a Monday morning. Because he travels, he feels guilty with the children.
Annie Deng: 你认为你是个什么样的母亲How would you describe yourself as a mum?
Jane: 全心全意为孩子的美好未来而奋斗。Completely devoted to their best interests.
Annie Deng: 你和你丈夫的关系怎么样？How’s your relationship with your husband .
Jane: 我很庆幸我有个美好的婚姻。我也希望通过我成功的婚姻，我的女儿们可以学到离婚很容易但夫妻应该像一个团队互相努力经营维护婚姻。我们是一家人。
I’m happily married and very lucky and have an amazingly successful relationship where I can’t see us ever splitting up or anything like that. Hopefully that’s another thing I get to teach them as well, that it’s easy to go out there and get a divorce, but that’s not what you want. You work as a team. We’re a team, we’re a family.
Annie Deng: 成功婚姻中夫妻两人都保持独立。Successful relationships are independent on both sides.
Jane: 就是这样！我们各自有自己的爱好和交际圈。我们也有共同的好友和爱好。现在我们共同的目标就是把孩子养好，看着她们长大，毕业，开始工作并成功。然后我们就可以开始享受我们接下来的人生。我们都想要去旅行，一起旅行，只有我们两个人，一年单独出去旅行一个星期。我认为这可以让我们的婚姻焕发出新的光彩。每年，我们都可以重新认识彼此.
That’s exactly right. I have my hobbies, he has his hobbies. I’ve got my friends, he’s got his friends. We have our friends and hobbies together. Our common goal is bringing up our children and watching them grow and finish school and being out there working and being successful so that we can then enjoy the time we have left together. We want to travel and make sure that we travel together, just the two of us at least once a year for a week. It revitalises our marriage, I suppose. It’s just finding each other again once a year and that lasts a year.
我们也会和孩子们一起旅行。我们每年要旅行三次。一次是我丈夫和我，第二次是家庭旅行，我们在泰国Phuket租了一栋房子，已经持续了25年。我们每年一月带着所有孩子出去旅行。我的丈夫Paul每年去中国两次，探望朋友，打高尔夫球。我会每年带一个孩子到任何她想去的地方旅行。比如，去年是Anna。我带Anna去了美国。前年是Sophie，我们去了欧洲。在往前是Jordyn。 我们告诉孩子，她们很幸福。我和丈夫努力工作，为孩子提供最好的条件，让她们在未来可以过自己想要的生活。
We also do a trip with the children. We do three trips a year. My husband and I travel together, the second trip is the family, we have a lease on a property in Phuket that we’ve got for 25 years. We take the children there every January, all of them. My husband Paul goes to China twice a year to see his friends and play golf. I grab one child per year and take them on a trip wherever they’d like to go. For example, last year was Anna. I took Anna to America. Year before was Sophie, we went to Europe. I’ve taken Jordyn everywhere as well. It’s not a hard life. My children are very privileged, that’s what we tell them. My husband and I work hard to provide them with the best possible life when they leave home.
Annie Deng: 你喜欢无挡板篮球吗？Do you like netball?
Jane: 很喜欢！我和丈夫都打无挡板篮球。无挡板篮球是个很培养人的团队合作精神，律己的体育运动。 我教孩子一个原则：一旦决定做什么事就一定要坚持到底，不管是你不再喜欢做了或者经过一个低潮期，你要坚持下去。坚持代表毅力，忠诚。正因为这样Jordyn和Anna都是奖学金得主。
Love it. My husband and I both play mixed netball as well. It’s amazing and such a disciplined sport. One of the things I’ve taught my children is if you make a commitment with something, you stick with that commitment. I don’t care if you go through a low and you don’t like it anymore, you stick with that commitment. Sticking with that commitment shows loyalty and that you are committed to something. Hence why Jordyn ended up on a scholarship and Anna is about to accept a scholarship at Caulfield Grammar as well.
我觉得运动使人健康，有了健康的身体才会有健康的心态，运动教你如何将生活安排得井井有条，什么时间运动，什么时间工作，什么时间学习或者做其他什么事。
I think sport, I’ve got a real thing for healthy body, healthy mind. I just think that it makes them very much organised, they’ve got to be so organised with planning of their days and weeks, when they’re gonna study, when they’re gonna do sport, when they’re gonna work or do whatever they do.
Annie Deng: What’s your greatest challenge in raising your children?在养育孩子的过程中，你遇到最大的挑战是什么？
Jane: 我目前最大的挑战就是，我有四个女儿，她们的个性差别非常大。不知道每天每个人的情绪怎样。比如昨天，我定的新鲜蔬菜水果及其他食品本来应该在晚上6点前应该送到，可到了7点还没到，所以我改变计划吃薯片。然后，我就有种不幸预感今天食物送不来了，而我这周又没买多少菜。周日晚上，我的二女儿，Jordyn 10点钟回来，把收到的食物拆开，放在冰箱里。 本来是帮我一个忙，可是我周一早上5点钟起床，看到食品包装到处都是，全都堆在橱柜上。我非常郁闷，开始嚷嚷怎么回事！ Jordyn一下就不舒服了，怪我太吵了。而另一个女儿起来对我凶怪我清晨5点半把她吵醒了….就是诸如此类的一些小事。四个女儿有不同的个性和情绪，有时候很难把握。她们都处于青春期荷尔蒙外泄的年纪。不同的个性也是一个很大的挑战。我觉得自己好像做了一辈子的妈妈，因为大女儿已经26，但小女儿才13岁。
One of my challenges at the moment has been ongoing for ages is that the fact that I’ve got four daughters with four very different personalities. I never know from day to day what mood each one’s going to be in. A classic example was yesterday, Sunday night, I had the Hello Fresh boxes to be delivered before 6 o’clock. 7 o’clock came and they still weren’t here so plan B came along which was to eat chips. Then I had this dreadful feeling that it wasn’t going to get delivered and I hadn’t done enough shopping for the week. Monday morning, yesterday morning I woke up, and I get up at 5 o’clock. There it is, sitting on the bench, and it’s all opened and unpacked and what have you. Daughter 2, Jordyn, had done the right thing, come home at 10 o’clock the night before and unpacked it and put all the stuff in the fridge. I got up and I saw all the stuff all over the place and I’d gone ‘what the?!’ and that’s it, she was in a bad mood because I was too loud. The other one got up because I’d woken her up at 5.30 in the morning and how dare I be so noisy… Things like that, just the different personalities and mood swings of four daughters. They’re all at the stage and age where they’re hormonal. That’s a tough one. The different personalities are a challenge. I feel like I’ve been a mum forever because I’ve got a 26 year old and a 13 year old.
几个孩子口味不一样，这是我另一个很大的挑战。Emily长期节食。Jordyn对所有食物过敏，大蒜，洋葱，所有食物。她要遵从“低FODMAP饮食法”。Anna每隔一天就说希望成为一个素食者，从明天开始吃素。 而Sophie，除非有Nutella巧克力酱，要不什么都不吃。我丈夫则吃典型的澳洲餐: 肉和3个素菜。每天接送孩子们去各种课外活动之余挤时间来做饭很难。我只有挤时间来做，或者做很简单的饭菜。比如周四晚上我做了面包夹香肠，因为两个女儿都要打无挡板篮球，有时时间还不定，完全没有时间。周一晚上是外卖日，因为我要提前下班去学校接Anna，因为她要去Templestowe和私人教练一起锻炼。我在训练场等她一个小时，带她回家，简单做点吃的，然后7点钟带Sophie去跳舞，9点一刻接她回家。周一晚上是忙疯的节奏。
Food is another challenge. Emily constantly diets because she’s quite a bigger girl. I’ve got Jordyn who’s allergic to everything, garlic, onion, she has to keep on the fodmap diet. Anna comes to every second day and says she wants to become a vegetarian. Sophie won’t eat anything except for Nutella. My husband likes his meat and his 3 vegetables. They’re challenges, the cooking. And finding time to cook with all the extra-curricular activities that I’ve got to drive my children to are very challenging. I just have to do it in between, or do really simple meals like on a Thursday night, two of my girls have netball and it can vary in times. I will do sausages in bread. Monday night is our takeout night because I have to leave work early to pick Anna up from school early because she has to go for personal training over in Templestowe. Wait for an hour for her to do her personal training, take her back home, try and cook something to take Sophie at 7 o’clock to dancing to pick her back up at 9.15. So Monday night’s crazy.
Annie Deng:为什么Emily和Jordyn还住在家里？Why haven’t Emily and Jordyn move out?
Jane: 我们永远不会在她们上学的时候要求她们搬出去，因为我们知道这段时间对她们并不容易。我们更希望她们成绩好。Emily已经工作了，为什么她还不搬出去？我也不知道。
We would never ask them to move out while they’re studying at University because we know that that’s a tough time. We would rather they get good grades than… Emily’s working, why won’t she move out? I don’t know.
Annie Deng: Emily 有男朋友吗？Does Emily have a boyfriend?
Jane: 没有，她们都没男朋友。她们在一周前都有男朋友，但她们在同一时间决定分手。所以现在Emily还是单身。Emily确实曾经告诉我们她想在年底搬走。但是然后她在周末告诉我们，她两周前买了辆车，同时决定去欧洲住两个月。
No, none of them do. Up until a week ago they all had boyfriends and they all decided to break up at the same time. So, no. Emily doesn’t. Emily did tell us she was moving out at the end of this year, but then she came to us on the weekend and told us that she just bought a car two weeks ago and she’s decided to go back to Europe for a couple of months.
Annie Deng: 所以她不付你们房租，也不付家用？So she’s not paying you rent, she’s not paying you for the groceries?
Jane: 对Jordyn来说，我们不会在她还上学的时候让她交给我们任何费用。我们希望在她学习的时间里，能轻松一些，好好学习。毕业之后找到一份理想的工作，然后搬出去自己住。
Jordyn, we would never ask her to pay anything or do anything because she’s still studying at University, we want to make it as easy as possible for her to study and graduate and then get a job and hopefully move out.
Annie Deng: 她们做家务吗？Do they do any housework?
Jane: Emily做的，但Jordyn不做。Jordyn很少在家里，她一般不在学校就在工作。Anna不是在打无挡板篮球就是在训练。Sophie有时候会帮忙。所以最大和最小的两个女儿会帮我做家务，中间的两个不会。
Emily does. Jordyn doesn’t. Jordyn’s just never around, she’s either at Uni or working. Anna is always netballing or training. Sophie, sometimes she’ll do things to help. Emily does things to help. The oldest and the youngest help, but the two middle ones don’t.
Annie Deng: 孩子们都会烹饪吗？Can your daughters cook?
Jane: 她们都会。我教过她们，她们也会自学。但是因为她们都在上学，烹饪是我该做的事情。Yes. They can. I teach them or they teach themselves. But because they’re studying, it’s my job to cook.
Annie Deng: 所以你自己几乎要做所有的家务? So you do everything yourself?
Jane:我丈夫会和我一起做。我丈夫很好。他会帮我做清洁工作。在周日孩子们学习的时候，我们也会一起做家务。
My husband and I do it together. My husband’s amazing. He will help me clean as much as I clean. We will do it together on a Sunday while the kids are studying.
Annie Deng: 跟大多澳洲父母比起来，你又没有意识到你牺牲了很多？Do you realise you sacrifice a lot compared to most other Aussie parents?
Jane: 当我看到我的孩子们非常成功的时候，我知道这是值得的。我的父母也是这么养育我的，我的丈夫也是这样长大的。对我来说，从我有孩子起，她们的生活更加重要，我们要给她们更多的机会让她们活得更加多姿多彩，变得更优秀，更成功。当她们结束学校生活，开始工作，自己独立后，我和丈夫会讲重心转移到我们自己生活上。
It’s worth it because I want to see my children successful. I’ve had a very similar upbringing from my parents, and so has my husband. To me, once you have children, it’s their life now, their time to shine and be provided for and given every opportunity to be successful. Once they’ve finished and they are successful or they’re working and they’ve gone, then my husband and I can take control of our lives back.
Annie Deng: 你如何看公立和私立学校？What do you think of public school vs private school
Jane: 我有点势利眼。因为我自己、我丈夫、我父母和我4个孩子全都上私立学校。 我觉得一分价钱一分货 。大家选择私立学校不仅仅是因为教学质量同时也是为了自己的社交圈，为我们的社会地位买单。如果你很聪明，无论在哪个学校，你都可以拿高分。但是在私立学校，你缴高的学费为的是让孩子结交志同道合或者同一个层次或者相同道德观念的朋友。公立学校的人参差不齐，从很富的到很穷的都有。我喜欢Caulfield Grammar是因为家长为了孩子都非常努力工作， 当然也有本来就很富有的人。
私立学校同时还教额外的东西比如社交行为技巧，孩子们穿戴正式还系领带，还有对发型的要求，不能带首饰等等。私立学校教这些在现实生活中需要遵从的规矩。”
I’m a little bit of a private school snob. My parents went to private school, my husband and I went to private schools, and now my four children are going to private school. I think you get what you pay for. When I say that, I mean you’re paying for a social status. If you’re bright, you can get your marks wherever you’re at. At a private school, you’re paying for them to meet like-minded children or the same upbringing or same morals. At a public school, because they’re public, you’ve got a proper cross section of very poor right through to very rich. The reason I love Caulfield Grammar, this campus here is because you’ve got people who work really hard to send their children. They could be working two, three jobs. Or both parents working. You’ve got people who work really hard to afford to send their kids there as well as the super wealthy who just take it as they get it.
People choose private not just because of what they teach, but because of the people you hang out with. They also teach you things like society behaviour. They get to wear a uniform with a blazer and proper tie and things like that. They’re teaching them society skills. The same with haircut and no jewellery. There are rules in society and life, and that’s what the private schools teach them.
Annie Deng: 你为什么把她们送到 Caufield Grammar 学校？ What made you send her to Caulfield Grammar?
Jane: 我最大的女儿，Emily在Caufield Grammar读过书。她现在26岁。她只在那里读了高中最后两年，因为她一开始的学校并不是很好。我们非常感谢那两年里学校为Emily提供的一切。Emily在10年级考试不及格。然后我送她去Caufield Grammar，在大学入学考试里，她拿了91.5分。我们对于学校将Emily的学业和生活都导入正轨感到非常满意。
My eldest daughter, Emily went there. She’s now 26. She went there only for her last two years of schooling because where she was originally just wasn’t a great school for her. We absolutely loved what they did for Emily in those two years. Basically, Emily was failing Year 10. She got to Caulfield Grammar and she got an Entry Score to get into University of 91.5. We were absolutely amazed at what they did to turn her around and her studies around and her life around.
Annie Deng:你最为孩子自豪的时刻是什么时候？What’s your proudest moment?
Jane: 我为我所有的孩子都感到骄傲。Emily，是她拿到高考成绩，她考了91.5分，上了第一志愿,进入她的梦想大学。Jordyn也是一样。她考了95.1的高分。她对科学很感兴趣，从9年级开始，她对兽医科学非常感兴趣，最终选择了兽医专业。
Anna和Sophie则有点不一样。她们两个小一点。对Anna来说，有两件让我骄傲的事情。一件是她独自一人去中国游学6周以后，回来的时候下了飞机，走出机场的时候。我很难描述那个时刻。我们在回家的路上聊起她学了什么，她变得有多成熟。令我非常骄傲的事就是她可以独自一人在国外“存活”6个星期。
With Emily, I suppose it was getting her VCE results. With her score of 91.5 and knowing that she would get into her dream course at University. With Jordyn, my proudest moment was the same. She got an Entry Score of 95.1 which was huge. Her dream was always to do something science. From probably Year 9 onwards, her dream was vet science. To know that she made it into that course as well… With Anna, I’ve got two. One was the day I saw her come back from China, she got off that airplane and she walked out. I was just so… I can’t even describe the moment. Talking to her all the way home of what she’d learnt, how much she’d matured. That was one of my proudest moments, just that she actually survived six weeks away from home.
Annie Deng:为什么你认为她没办法在外面“存活”？Why did you think she wouldn’t survive?
Jane: Anna是个宅女，而且是个什么都要爸爸的娇娇女。喜欢运动但不喜欢社交，除非朋友来家里找她。她对人都很友善，但她最喜欢的还是呆在家里。
Anna’s very much a daddy’s girl and very home-oriented. She’s not a huge socialiser. Very big into sport but not big on socialising unless friends come to our house. So she’s very much a homebody. Very much an introvert. She is outgoing, but she loves home and her comfort zone.
第二件是Anna加入VNL（维洲无挡板篮球联合会）的时候。她才14岁，而绝大部分成员都是18-24岁之间。这是个非常非常让我骄傲的时刻。
The second one with Anna was her getting into VNL. She’s only 14 and most players are between the age of 18 and 24. That was a huge, proud moment.
我最为Sophie骄傲的时候是当我意识到她的钢琴演奏能力，她只要听过就能弹出曲子。 Sophie特喜欢问问题，有时候我们忙的时候比如比如烹饪，清洁，或者园艺的时候，她来烦我们的时候，我们就对她说，去学这首歌，然后弹给我们听。Sophie就会去学，半个小时之后她就学会了，弹给我们听。又一次，她参加一个音乐会，她和老师一起弹奏，弹的非常棒。老师所有的学生都参加了音乐会，但老师把Sophie安排压轴表演，因为她最出色。音乐会结束后很多家长过来恭喜我说我女儿真是太棒啦，从来听过如此之美的钢琴曲。
With Sophie, my proudest moment was when we realised how amazing she was on the piano. Sophie can play from ear, so we used to tease her. When we were doing things like cooking, or cleaning, or gardening and she was annoying us, she’s the kind of girl who’ll ask questions like ‘but what about?’ and ask questions all the time. We’d say to her, go and learn this song on the piano and let us know when you’ve learnt it. So Sophie will listen and she will play from ear. Half an hour later she’ll call us in and say ‘listen to this’ and she’ll play a piece. She did an amazing piano concert with her teacher. He had all of his students play. He put Sophie last, because he said she was the most amazing out of all of them. She played and I had so many parents come up to me after the concert and say she was just outstanding and they’d never seen or heard anything like it.
Annie Deng: 你在孩子心里的印象怎么样？If I asked your children to describe what kind of mum you are, what would they say?
Jane: 我觉得她们会说，我是一个公平，诚实，可靠的妈妈。。。。。。 我是世界上最好的妈妈。
I think they’d say that I’m fair, honest, reliable… and I think they’d say that I’m the best that they could have.
Annie Deng: Can you please describe your typical day/week (routines)？请描述一下你的日程安排？
Jane: 现在两个大女儿不需要我来管，我只需要需要照顾两个小女儿。每天日程都安排得满满的。
5:00：起床，查看工作邮件等等；
6:30：叫醒孩子们，孩子们自己动手做早餐，准备带到学校去的午餐；
7:45：开车送孩子们去学校；
8:00：去公司；
8:15: 开始一天忙碌的工作，有时还需要加班
周一的下午我会早一点下班，然后带Anna去跟私人健身教练训练，陪她训练完，然后带她回家，做晚饭。晚上7:30带Sophie去跳舞，9:30接她回家；
周二白天一样，晚上我会去看Jordyn练球。虽然Jordyn已经22岁了，不过我还是会去为她捧场。
周三晚上是我唯一可以休息一下的一个晚上。我们一家人会坐在一起看看电视，或者孩子们在家学习或者随便做点什么。
周四下午Anna要去队里参加无挡板篮球比赛；
周五下午Anna会继续她的训练，然后Sophie的钢琴老师会到家里给她上钢琴课；
周六我每第二个周六会上班。我丈夫打高尔夫球。孩子们有学校的体育活动，然后去公园练球。之后就是自由活动，孩子们可以去朋友家或者邀请朋友到家里玩，或者出去玩，都可以。
周日我会做一些家务，清理房间，做饭，洗衣服等等。Anna下午又要练球。
I don’t have to worry about the older ones, it’s just the two little ones. So I get up at 5 in the morning Monday to Friday. I get myself organised, check my emails for work and things like that, if there’s anything urgent I need to get back to. Then I wake the children about 6.30, they get up, have breakfast and get dressed. Then from there, even though we live walking distance from school, I drive them to school at about 7.45 because I go past. So they get up and make their own brekkie and lunch, I drive them to school, drop them at school and go straight to work. I’m normally at work at 8.15. I work all day, sometimes into the night, depending on when clients want to see me.
Monday I leave early to pick Anna up from school early to go to personal training in Templestowe. Then I wait, bring her back, cook dinner and take Sophie to dance at 7.30. Then pick her up at 9.15.
Tuesday nights is the same all day then at night, Jordyn has netball. Even though she’s 22, I still go down and watch her and support her.
Wednesdays are the same, but on Wednesday evenings are my only night off during the week. So that’s family time, we sit down and watch a show together or they study or what have you.
Thursday night after school, Anna has representative netball.
Friday night is training for Anna. Sophie has piano lessons at home, the piano teacher comes to home.
Saturday I work half the time, every second weekend I work. My husband plays golf and my children have compulsory sport at school. After that, they have go to Gillis Park in Ellis Hill for domestic netball. After that, it’s home and it’s social time. So they can have friends over, or go to friends’, go out or do whatever they want to do.
Sunday morning, it’s just cleaning, cooking, washing. Doing domestic things. Anna has netball training again, on a Sunday afternoon for the state.
That’s my routine. Things do differ and change, but it’s busy.
Annie Deng: 你如何放松自己？What do you do for yourself?
Jane: 我和我的丈夫也玩无挡板篮球，如果有时间的话，我会邀请一帮朋友到家里聚会，晚餐。或者和我的闺蜜出去看看电影，喝喝酒之类的。每两周我会做一次指甲。
不过，我一般都没有时间做这些。现在我没有我的生活，孩子的生活是我的全部。我希望给他们最好的，等她们独立了，我就可以从新开始我的生活。
My husband and I play in a mixed netball team. If I ever get a chance or an opportunity, I love entertaining, so I have people around and do dinner parties. I’ll do that on a Saturday night if I don’t have to drive the kids anywhere. Catching up with my girlfriends and they’ll come over for a movie, or drinks, things like that. I get my nails done every second week. But not really. It’s not my life at the moment, it’s my children’s life. I just want what’s best for them. Once they’re independent, I’ll take back my life.
Annie Deng: What’s your favoriate dish?你最喜欢做的菜是什么？
Jane: 烤羊腿。我早上把羊腿，意大利面，土豆泥，西葫芦或者竹笋一起放到烤箱里，150度，烤6-8个小时，直到肉从骨头上掉下来。晚上6点半回家正好吃。这道菜烤的时间越长越好吃，大家都很爱。我最喜欢的外卖是中国餐和印度菜。我们一家人都喜欢吃辣椒。
I love to make lamb shanks. Everybody loves them. I cook them with risoni for 6 to 8 hours. On the bone, until it falls off the bone. On a bed of mashed potato with zucchini or asparagus. I stick it in the oven and just leave it on 150 until 6.30 at night. The longer you leave it and the slower you leave it… It’s beautiful. My favourite take out food would be either Chinese or Indian.
Annie Deng: 在抚养孩子的过程中，你觉得哪一部分最能让你体验身为人母的快乐？What do you love about being a parent?
Jane: 我觉得是看着孩子取得成就，并看着她们长大成人。看着她们变得很有礼貌，有教养。。。。。。做最好的自己。我看着就很开心。
I suppose watching my children’s achievements and watching them grow into beautiful young women. They’ve got manners, they’ve got class… They’re the best people they could possibly be. I just enjoy watching them.
Annie Deng: 你最喜欢和孩子做什么？What do you enjoy most with your children?
Jane: 旅游。年终泰国普吉岛旅行。真是太好玩了。旅游时，我们一家人都喜欢同样的风景，同样的食物，做同样的事。我们喜欢坐在游泳池旁边，读读书，喝点东西。这是我们每年一次的家庭聚会时间。
Travelling. Our end of year trip to Phuket. That’s so much fun. We’re all on the same page. We all love the same food, the same places. We love sitting by the pool, reading, drinking… It’s our annual family get-together.
Annie Deng: 你们在哪一般都玩什么呢？What do you do there?
Jane: 坐在游泳池旁边。玩迷你高尔夫球，看风景，去海边。大多数时间还是在游泳池边读读书。这对我们来说就是个放松休闲的时间。
Sit by the pool. We do all sorts of things there. We’ll go play mini golf or golf, we’ll go look at touristy sights, go to the beach. Mainly we sit by the pool and read a book. It’s just a relaxing time.
Annie Deng: 孩子们喜欢吗？The kids like it?
Jane: 特喜欢。特别是小的两个孩子。因为我们签了25年的租约，每年都去，要么碰到老朋友或者结交新朋友，都很开心。
They love it, especially the two younger ones because we’ve got 25 years lease and every year that we go there, we either meet the same people or meet new friends. It’s good.
Annie Deng: 你是怎么拿到25年的租约的？How did you get the 25-year lease?
Jane: 我们每年去一次。只有在别墅里住的时候才付钱。就像共享别墅，我们每年去两周，我们只需要付那两周时间的租金，共付25年。我们已经连续10年去那里度假了。对我们一家六口来说，去欧洲旅行花销太高了。为了让家庭更有凝聚力，我们当时决定签这个25年的租约，每年全家人一起去度假两周。
You only go there once a year. We pay when we’re there, it’s like timeshare. We paid for the lease on the property for two weeks every January for 25 years. We’ve been going for about 10 years now. It was very expensive for us to travel as a family of six to places like Europe. We decided, to bond as a family every day, we would take a 25-year lease and stay there every year for 2 weeks.
Annie Deng: 当她们长大工作之后怎么办？What about when they get older and get jobs?
Jane: 她们可以每年请两周年假。我们每年旅行的时间都是固定的。
They know to take those two weeks off every year. We go at the same time every year.
Annie Deng: 你怎么平衡工作和生活？How do you keep a work life balance？
Jane: 想要平衡工作和生活并不容易。我现在的工作，感觉需要随叫随到。大多数时候朝8晚5。有时候新客户会打电话让我晚上7点去见他们。这时候我就只有依赖我的2个大女儿帮忙照顾小女儿。我的工作性质就是这样。我知道有一天我不用再工作了，可以尽情享受生活，不过目前我并没什么工作生活的平衡，为了孩子和我退休后的悠闲生活，我现在会努力工作。我喜欢跟人打交道，跟人接触让我更有活力。
I find it very hard because at the moment, working in this particular position, it’s like I’m on call all the time. I work from 8 in the morning until 5 at night most days. I may have a new client who rings and says can you come at 7 o’clock at night. I do have to rely on my two older children to help me out to drive the two younger ones somewhere. It is what it is, it’s routine. I know there will be a time when it all comes to an end and it will all just be life, not work. At the moment, just work hard now to be able to enjoy life now but even more so when my husband and I retire and the kids move out. I’m a better person when I’m out meeting people. That’s just my personality.
Annie Deng:你可以给其他父母一些建议吗？Can you give some tips to other parents?
Jane:
1，永远相信你的直觉
2，永远倾听你的孩子的想法
3，信念要坚定！
- Always believe in your gut feeling ( trust your own instincts)
2. Always listen to your children
3. Stand firm in your beliefs !
关于Jane Chodziesner － More about Jane Chodziesner
Jane是Harcourts Wantirna分公司业务经理，她自己也是个房产投资者。Jane总能不断超越客户的期待，为客户赢得最佳交易结果。她说，“我很注重客户关系，比别人更愿意付出。”
Based at Harcourts Wantirna office, Business Development Manager, property investor Jane Chodziesner consistently deliver exceptional results for all her clients. “I believe in building strong relationships and always going that extra mile,” she says.
Jane是Wantirna当地的房产专家，对Wantirna了如指掌。Jane在这里住了23年了，对Glen Waverly一直到Ferntree Gully这片区都非常熟悉。她在社区里非常活跃，尤其是有了四个女儿之后，很多活动都是在社区里的，学校，空手道学校，无挡板篮球协会，认识很多人。
I’m a local area expert. For the last 23 years I’ve lived within the area so I know it very well, I’ve been very involved with the community, especially having four daughters because they’ve done a million different activities which has been a huge involvement with the community so I know a lot of people. I know all the schools, I know a lot of people from the schools. I know karate colleges, netball institutions. So I know the area, basically from Glen Waverly right through to Ferntree Gully, I know the area inside out.
Jane can be contacted via email jane.choddy@harcourts.com.au or simply click the Contact Interviewee button below and leave a message.
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